random ramblings

i'm not mean. at least i never mean to be.
i'm not rude.
nor am i snobby.
i'm just sarcastic.
and dry.
i wish i could be outgoing
and friendly, and have everyone love me.
i wish i could carry on a conversation with anyone
about anything.
i wish everyone liked me,
and weren't so quick to judge my actions.
i hate that i have to be so sensible,
which people misconstrue to mean dull and no fun.
i wish i could be spontaneous,
or even girly and giddy,
i wish everyone didn't always assume i was a bitch
or that i didn't like them.
because odds are, i probably thought you hated me.
i wish i could be as comfortable around everyone
as i am with my closest friends.
i hate that i let people intimidate me.
people who are so undeserving.
i wish i could be the best.
i want to do it all with the best intentions,
and for all the right reasons.
i'm smart, and i want people to see it.
i'm happy, and i want to be able to show it.
i wish everyone could understand the anxiety i sometimes feel
in social situations.
i embrace my awkwardness.
and i wish everyone else could too.