take me out to the ball game

baseball has got to be my least favorite sport. i don't play it well, and i don't really enjoy watching it either, so it makes total sense when my brothers invited me to go to the dodger game, i willingly agreed...right? anyway this is how the situation played out:

first i get a phone call:
"yo Lauren, wanna go to the dodger game tomorrow?"
"uh, yeah i guess that sounds cool, i don't have anything else to do."
pause...then me again,
"wait, are we gonna stay the whole game?"
"yeah probably"
"oh okay, well i guess i'll still go."

cut to the next morning:
i'm putting together my purse, including a book and a magazine, i mean what else am i going to do for nine freaking innings. i also pack some almonds, string cheese, and apple and a nectarine (i tend to get hungry, and ten dollar nachos and a eight dollar hot dog just aren't gonna keep me satisfied. i also grab a sweatshirt and a jacket, thinking i would be freezing, since the only baseball games i go to are in sf. my brothers pick me up and we head off....wooo dodgers!

so we get to the stadium, and we have saweet seats, like five rows back from first base, right behind the visitors dugout. i thought hey, maybe i could get into this. and we had three funny old guys sitting behind us, so i was enjoying the entertainment. after one inning i quickly realize, that it's more likely i am going to die of heatstroke than freeze to death, and am immediately regretting my abundance of jackets and lack of sunscreen. three more innings, NOTHING has happened, no one has scored, practically no one has gotten past first base, and i'm feeling a little pink. i trade my boredom for a dodger dog. yummmm, until about five minutes later, when i gladly would have taken my boredom back.

two and a half hours later and the phillies are up by one. it seems no one else is going to be scoring, until magically at the bottom of the ninth inning, the dodgers make a comeback, with an unexpected homerun to tie up the game. (with two outs). the next batter comes up, three strikes, he's out, and before i realize it we're into overtime in a tenth inning. oy. now i'm stuck, feeling the burn, seeing no end in sight and worst of all, i am completely out of snacks. nothing happens in ten, nothing happens in eleven, it seems as if nothing is going to happen in twelve...but thank god for andre ethier. seriously, that man is my hero. by the bottom of the twelfth i am RED RED RED, dehydrated, bored out of my mind, and preparing myself for another few lame innings when he hits a beautiful home run!! i stand up with so much enthusiasm and joy, i shock my own self, and just shout thank god. (i think those old men must have though i was a real big dodgers fan, because they cheerfully agreed with me, thank god they said too...they really were fans, i was just relieved to leave).

the lesson i have learned from this is, always bring sunscreen, and there must be a reason why everyone at baseball games are always drinking tons of beer. i might have to jump on THAT bandwagon to survive next time. at least i had something to write a blog about...