BLAAAHG

I'd like to consider myself a planner. I am definitely not compulsively organized, but I do have a special fondness for my month by month planner. If you were to open it and look at it, you would see that I am not lying when I say I can be disorganized. It can be pretty unreadable with my scratched out lists, sketches, and random notes to myself, but it really helps me keep my life in order. I like to be able to see on a monthly basis when I have time available so I can make plans with friends, trek down to LA, or just have a weekend to relax. This I am sure is a weird side effect from those sorority days, but hey, i definitely could of picked up something much worse.

Despite the fact that my plans for today included walking off all the delicious food I ate yesterday, draping a project for class, and reading some Aphra Behn, all before I go spend some quality time with children in water, I am in fact lying in bed. Unfortunately, it's not even the good kind of lying in bed, reveling in pure laziness, nope I have sentenced myself here to hopefully avoid a lot of pain. It seems that I may or may not have thrown out my back. So here I am, frantically icing and heating, icing and heating, and raking my brain for what possibly could have caused this. It's not that bad yet, but all the warning signs are there, and I just can't let it get worse. Although my back might not agree, this is really not a good time for me to be stuck on the floor immobilized for a week, I have places to go, things to do, people to see...

Wouldn't it be great if you could plan out being sick or injured. I swear, I would love someone to give me a list on January 1st saying, "Okay Lauren, you are going to have to take six weeks of sick time throughout the year. You are going to throw your back out twice, get a cold, twist your ankle, and this year we are going to give you the stomach flu!" Being sick sucks, but if I could plan out when and where, it would make the entire process so much more enjoyable. I wouldn't even be a procrastinator, I would be very diligent about picking my weeks and getting the sicknesses over and done with. That way I could do them when I had down time. Oh, no projects this week, I think I could have a cold then. *BAM* Cough, cough, sneeze, sneeze. Done and done. It would just make everything so much easier. Not to mention, how convenient would it be to suddenly come down with the flu on the same day your supposed to help your friend move. Sorry Bob, I just couldn't find another week....eeek.

Well until that's made possible, I guess I'll just try my best to lay down and relax relax relax. Which is really difficult when all I can think about is all the things still I need to do...

picture found here

so this one time...

about four years ago, i thought it would be a good idea to try carmen electra's strip aerobics.

hey, whyyyyy not give it a shot?! strippers are bad ass, and if my body could look half as good as carmen electra's, then it would be well worth it. it was probably at that exact thought, that this entire plan went awry.

for those of you who are not avid readers, in order to fully understand the story, i should probably clarify that i have a back problem. a herniated lower disc. and that's all you need to know.

so my roommmate and i thought strip aerobics would be a good idea. it was on sale at target, it was something we could do in our cubicle sized room, and we were college freshman girls...if college wasn't gonna cut it, we were going to have to have a back up career anyway.

one overcast boring sunday, we popped that dvd into the tv, and began our learning experience. being the extremely rhythmic white girl that i am, i was picking up these moves left and right. carmen was shimmy-ing, i was shimmy-ing. i was attempting my best come hither look, which was most likely frightening, and we were having a hilarious time. nothing makes for a more enjoyable day, than watching me attempt to be sexy. i was actually really beginning to feel the work out. my abs were starting to burn, my thighs were starting to burn, and then TWIST...and OH...that didn't feel right! like a 90 year old woman, i had to stop, and drop to the floor. ms electra had defeated me, and it became clear that stripping would never be a lucrative career of mine.

my back hurt so much that i had to succumb to making an appointment with student health. it was so excruciating that i could barely walk to classes, let alone sit in them. but the worst pain was yet to come. that day, as i hobbled over to the health center, i had no idea what was waiting for me there. the nurse brought me to my room, and insisted that i put on disposable hospital gown material shorts. yes, they look exactly as they sound. (yeah, i put carmen electra's sexy to shame in those). i sat patiently, cringing every time my back spasm-ed, when finally the door opened...

and in walked the HOTTEST doctor i have ever seen.

and there i sit, wallowing not only in shame, but in giant hospital gown shorts, practically drooling at the gift in front of me. and as if it could not get worse than that, the next words out of his mouth really kicked me while i was already down...

"How did you hurt your back?"

"Just doing some aerobics"

"Like what kind of aerobics?"

"uhhh...Carmen Electra strip aerobics...."

yeah.

strip aerobics: 1 lauren: 0