so i decided it was time to dye my hair again. i'm naturally a very dark brunette, but since i have taken to working in a swimming pool that possibly contains acid, instead of water, it tends to lighten up over time. i figured this would be the best time to do it, because it's going to need a week or so to fade from the black it always turns out to be, and then it will be a perfect dark brown, just in time.
i open the box, mix the two bottles together and spread it all over my hair, in what i like to think is a well thought out process. it's not though. it never works out. i always end up with hair dye EVERYWHERE. and this time it's bad. i mean my arms are turning black, my neck is developing cheetah spots, and it seems i thought my hairline was about two inches lower than it really is. but i keep powering through. no time to stop now, i'll deal with the splotch removal when i'm in the shower. i scoop all my freshly dye covered hair together and put it in a bun on the top of my head, and sit to patiently wait my twenty five minutes.
a couple minutes before i'm due for a rinse, i head into my bathroom to check out my shower head, because the pressure has been pretty lame the past few days. i assume there is some cloggage so i unscrew the contraption, shake it all out, and put it back together. then i turn the water on, and all the sudden nothing is coming out of the shower head now. which goes to show, i am not always such a "Fiona fix-it," because no water is definitely considerably worse than low pressure water. i can feel the panic rise in my stomach, what do i do, i don't have time for this problem, i need to get the dye out.
i futz around for a few more minutes, screwing, unscrewing, and not the good kind. eventually i am able to conjure a trickle from the shower head. i decide i cannot wait any longer, so i kneel down beside the shower, hold my head upside down and let the light stream of water begin to wash the purple color from my hair. so let's recap the situation in a little more detail. i live in a three bathroom house. i need to rinse out my hair dye. and in my moment of doubt, i decide the best solution will be to just deal with it, in my own practically nonexistent shower. it probably wasn't until thirty seconds into the rinsing, that i realized this was the wrong choice. in this case the path not taken (going upstairs to a fully functioning bathroom) would have been the correct answer.
i can feel the purple water running down my face, getting into my eyes, dripping off my lips. i'm having difficulties keeping myself in this kneeling, head over the bathtub position, and not the mention the lack of all water pressure is making this process a lot longer than necessary. then i realize, hey, i can use the bathtub faucet, the water comes out a lot stronger from there. oh yeah Lauren, genius idea! to make a longer story short, i end up crouching in the bathtub in two inches of purple water (because of course my old old shower cannot drain faster than i can get water in it) trying desperately to rinse as much dye out of my hair as possible. and since a full shower was not available, it seems i am going to have to parade around tomorrow with possibly more hair dye on my body, than in my hair. but the signature "this would only happen to you moment" comes with the black stains on my face, that are from the dyed water dripping from my forehead to my chin. it appears as if i mascara'd my hair, and then it hysterically cried, causing black tear marks down my entire face.
thank you life. at least i can get a kick out of you every once and a while.
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