i have a major problem opening things. it seriously seems like everything is "Lauren Proof," which is even worse than child proof. my issue is so bad, that it is actually a step below childproof, but only to me, most likely a child would not have my kind of problems.
when i say opening things, i mean everything: doors, spaghetti sauce jars, a bag of gummy bears from disneyland, chips, the wrapper on my sandwich...it never ends. and my friends and family LOVE to make fun of me. i'm pretty sure if it's a dull day, they'll purposely throw things my way to open. they all know i'll be a big failure, but it's some comical relief to watch me struggle. there is nothing more enthralling than watching Lauren apply all her strength only to fail, and then watch someone else effortlessly peel apart that ziploc baggie. i know what you're thinking, with entertainment like that, i lead a top notch EXCITING life.
anyway to keep with that holiday spirit, here is my most recent opening dilemma. so i went out and bought advent calendars. the cheap kind with the plastic and cardboard tasting chocolate, that you had as kids. they have a sentimental value to me, and i thought it would be great to have one this year. i'm almost positive that they are intended for young children, so you wouldn't think that a fully functional twenty two year old could have issues, but hey, it's me, and that is just my life.
so one night i come home excited to enjoy my delicious chocolate, when i open the box and to my disappointment discover that the chocolate is not laying in it's beautiful plastic mold. so i try to peel up the cardboard covering to figure out where the chocolate has taken refuge. in the midst of my problem solving i had a sheer moment of stupidity...a rarity for me of course. i was trying to tilt the box so the light would shine where i needed to see, and i tilted it way too far, and ALL the chocolates fell out of their places and slid everywhere! this wouldn't be too much of a catastrophe if it was the 22nd and there were only two chocolates left, but of course i did this on the 4th ish, and there was plenty of chocolate to move around. so now instead of a flat little box with doors, i know had a lumpy mountainous looking thing, with every chocolate out of place.
in this type of situation panic is the appropriate action. so that's what i did. i frantically tried to push any chocolate back into a door (all without opening doors that hadn't previously been opened....because that is breaking the advent calendar rules!) after about ten minutes of futzing i just gave up and let the chocolates settle where the "earthquake" had left them. for all the other days i had to open the door and then fish a chocolate out from somewhere to enjoy for that glorious December day.
immediately i concluded that this must be a common issue people deal with, and in confronting my three other friends with advent calendars, i discovered that this is NOT in fact a problem that anyone other than myself has. obviously my inablility to open things will continue to plague my future endeavors....maybe that's a real medical issue i can have diagnosed....
This still makes me laugh.
ReplyDelete