Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Pet PEEEVED

Oh parking, what a fun activity, especially now going into the holiday season. Malls, markets,and  pretty much any public place is now a zoo. This means that these locations are doing everything they can to help "ease" the the parking process and get you into the stores faster to BUY BUY BUY. But really what they are doing is fucking everything up for anyone who is not a complete idiot. There is little that I enjoy less than  some "rent-a-boy scout," in white gloves. directing traffic in the mall parking lot. If there are any requirements to be able to direct traffic (which in their case there does not seem to be) I would think it would be to have a driver's license. Or in the very least be old enough to have a driver's license.

While I doubt anyone really enjoys parking, the one thing I absolutely cannot stand about the whole process is having to search for a spot. I have always been a snag the first spot I see kind of a parker, even if it's miles away from the entrance. I'd much rather walk than drive around trying to find that "perfect spot." By the time you find it, I probably could have walked to the store, done my shopping, and made it back just as you're pulling in. It's an absolute waste of time, and I hate being unnecessarily unproductive. I like to procrastinate with a purpose. Plus anything that prolongs shopping is obviously a very bad thing. 

The only thing I hate more about parking: getting stuck behind a dumb ass while they search for their PERFECT spot. Come on now, I know we are taught from a young age to never give up on our dreams, but searching for a parking spot that requires you to walk less than 10 feet to the entrance is just not obtainable. But the good news is that you just won the LAZIEST person in the world award. Congrats! It comes in bumper sticker form, so all the other drivers on the road know to avoid you. Maybe instead of ragging on all the un-nutritional factors of junk food, let's just teach the next generation that it's okay to walk (at a moderate to brisk pace... please).

I always love a good moral, so the knowledge you should gain from the end of this story is; learn that it's OKAY to walk a little bit. Especially when it means you get into a parking spot faster, and out of my way. Also if you're ever in a situation where I'm the driver and we are parking, you have been warned, I hope you brought your walking shoes!


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