Things I Learned/Thoughts I Had While in the South

navigation tool collection

You should check your GPS software before you embark upon your adventure. Dealing with a GPS that does not recognize Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Oklahoma as actual places, can be quite difficult to work with, especially when you are traveling to Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Oklahoma, specifically. 

Every street is a “highway.” Every “highway” or “freeway” or “interstate” has at least three names it goes by. Therefore not only is it Highway 66 East, but it is also Highway 142 North and Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. This makes directions increasingly harder to understand.

While automatic toilet seat covers might sound cool, they don’t work. Therefore I would appreciate you providing a second method for “my protection.”

The one issue I now have with California malls, in fact malls across the U.S who haven’t jumped on this bandwagon, is that they do not have frozen daiquiri bars in the middle of them. 

Even though Johnny and June thought Jackson was the place to “get married in a fever,” there is in fact nothing there. Definitely wasn’t worth the combing of my hair. 

The myth of the “Southern Gentlemen” extends to all wait staff in restaurants. Never have I had such polite and convenient service. Why yes, I would love you to split the check, and if you have a chance, could you call California and get them interested in this phenomenon.

Beale St, Memphis

After about seven "Honey” s come out of your mouth, your cute Southern drawl, tends to wear off and just becomes annoying.

There is NOT an abundance of cowboys walking down the streets in hats…and no shirts…much to my disappointment. 

If you try and smother your bed mate (being kimi) with love (or a pillow) she'll make you suffer the next day. (i.e. force you to take all your pictures solo.)

There seems to be a lack of spinach in the spinach capital of the world. Especially a lack of giant spinach cans. But water on the other hand, now they have huge towers of those.

Popeye Park. Alma,AR

Being single is no way to make friends with any of those Southern gals. They are all married, and your obvious singledom is considered a national threat to their own marriage. 

on the road

One way car rentals are ridiculously expensive. Gas on the other hand is cheap. And even if Archie, at the New Orleans Rental place chooses not to let you know, you should always get a gas receipt. That way, when you return the car, you can prove that you didn’t actually siphon water into your gas tank. FYI to the car rental companies: If I just gave you an obscene amount of money to drive a car 800 miles across the South, I’m not going to cheat you out of another 20 dollars worth of gas. Not to mention, if I even had the talent to siphon water into the car's gas tank, you should give me the rental for free... out of principal.

Oklahoma sucks. Your one redeeming quality were the shirts in your airport, “Nothing tips better than a cow.” But it’s not enough to escape from my shit list. 

the blushing bride and reason for this entire trip.

Helloooo Southern US! We are arriving!

In October, my freshman year formal date, lake walking buddy, and former college roomie Beth is getting married. (The first of all our college friends!) In Arkansas! My pal and fellow LA dweller, Kimi, and I thought what a great excuse not only to see old friends, but to also take a trip to somewhere in the U.S that we have never been. I have done a lot of traveling across the seas, but I definitely want to see more of the United States. We figured since we are going to be out there anyway, maybe there are some different cities and states we could tack on to the trip, turning it into a wild raging adventure. After minimal research we found that low and behold New Orleans is only 600 miles-ish from where the wedding is! Perfection.

We have been discussing the possibility of a road trip from Louisiana to Arkansas for a few months now, and I was always skeptical about it really happening. I always knew we'd make it to the wedding, but I wasn't sure if we would get ourselves together quick enough to organize the rest of the week long trip. Well yesterday we decided to make it happen and officially booked our plane tickets. So watch out land of deep fried everything! The glu-tards are coming for you!

We both couldn't be more excited. Not only have we not seen Beth in what will probably be a year or so (wow, really? Is that true....fact checker please!) but I have never been to most of the places we plan to head on this adventure. So far nothing is really set, all we know is that we're landing in New Orleans on October 4th, renting a car, and then flying out of Tulsa on October 10th. The middle part is still up in the air. (well actually on land, since that's the part of the venture we'll be road tripping) Obviously there is still a lot of work to be done, and any advice or suggestions are greatly welcomed!!

According to our AAA trip tick we are going to be driving through Jackson, Memphis, and Little Rock, with the possibility in staying overnight in any of those cities, so please help us out with any suggestions of places that need to be stayed in or things that need to be seen!

This is my first real big trip without adult supervision. Haha. Well, other than Kimi and I supervising ourselves. I guess I unfortunately have to admit that I'm at least a little bit adult nowadays. It's sure to be an extraordinary journey, and I cannot wait to finish it off with seeing one of my favorite people beautifully glide down the aisle. (And I mean beautifully, so I hope you're practicing that saunter Beth!)

And seriously people don't hold back on the suggestions...we're gonna need them. I don't want to risk missing the biggest ball of twine or something! That would be an EPIC fail in Kodak opportunities.