is anyone else out there LOST?

so about five years ago, i got myself involved in this new little show called Lost.

(just before we get into this, let's take a minute to go back five years and check out life back then: that would put me in my senior year in highschool, awkward, thinking the valley was awesome, and having probably some of the worst friends anyone could have. basically what i am getting it is, life has drastically changed since then)

now back to Lost. the show was advertised all over tv, and presented an interesting premise, so my family and i tuned in. my first thought was hey, good looking people, interesting twists, and some seriously hot love triangles. sounds a okay to me. cut to five years later:

what the FUCK is going on?

seriously though, when is this madness going to end, when are all the story lines going to come together and when am i going to get all my freaking answers!! this has by far been the most commited relationship that i have had with a tv show ever. yeah i was obsessed with friends back in the day, but in no way did i invest as much effort into that, as Lost has forced me to do. ross and rachel breaking up never emotionally drained me, and left me confused with no hope for clarification. not only that, but this show continually takes eight month long hiatuses, and i still crawl back for more. and every week, more and more characters are introduced and now time traveling is involved. it is really getting ridiculous. but i am h-ooooo-ked. i don't think i will ever understand.

it has been so long since the show started that i cannot even keep track of what has happened. i figure the producers purposely did that because they are planning to rake in the big dough with the series super special DVD release, Lost encyclopedia included. so there goes five years of my life and a 150 dollars. and all just to understand why this magical island makes paralyzed people walk, turns the dead into alive, and kills people with scary black smoke monsters. i think i was once warned as a kid not to get involved in nonsense. it has now become very clear that i don't listen well.

i just don't get it. i'm absolutely Lost. and i cant even laugh at that pun, because i know it's on purpose. all i have to say is they better give me some freaking answers, and it better be good. i am not going to settle for some bullshit about a time continuum. or an effing dream sequence. i have invested five years, probably six by the end, to being a dedicated viewer of this show, the least they can do is show me some more half naked bodies, some hot sex scenes, and come up with an amazing explanation to this madness.

well i am off to get Lost. whatever have i got myself into?

and then it got weird...

back in the day, when i didn't have a blog (so like two months ago) i always thought that this would be something so weird and characteristic to my personality, that it would of course, have to be a post someday. and now, with my very own blog, i am going to make my dreams become reality. see kids, when you set your goals high, your aspirations come true...

automatic flushing toilets. 

they just seem to be all the rage. i'm not really sure why. i guess most likely they cut down on the amount of germs you contract from touching the handle to flush in a public bathroom. and for that i suppose i can give them some respect. i suppose not everyone has the balance of a flamingo, as they use their other leg to push the lever down. and also not being much of a germ-a-phobe myself, flushing the toilet the old fashioned way never really got to me. but boy, these automatic flushers have, and here i will tell you why:

situation #1

so you walk into the stall, hang your bag up, or your jacket, turn around to get a toilet seat cover and neatly lay it down. make sure you punch the whoha hangy thing down, so the whole thing doesn't slip off as you slowly maneuver yourself down to sit. you do your business, stand up, pull your pants up, and without warning the toilet has already begun flushing. you quickly swivel around, but before you can do anything the toilet has finished flushing with all the contents, leaving that lovely seat cover still stuck to the seat. you then proceed to spend the next couple minutes peeling the cover off, throwing it into the bowl, and trying to trick the toilet into flushing again. and let me tell you, those flushers are not tricked easily. 

i mean am i the only one who has this problem? it's like pretty much every time i use a public bathroom, which is quite concerning to me? and if not, please enlighten me, what on earth am i doing wrong?? if on the blessed day that situation #1 is not troubling me, i am of course trapped in...

situation #2

you walk into the stall, get everything set up, do your business, finish up, and the toilet will not freaking flush. so of course you spend the next couple of minutes doing what can only be called as the "automatic flushing jig" to again simulate to the flusher that you are finished. sometimes, if it's a lucky day, you can find a button on the toilet that will manually flush it, but other times, those buttons are seriously camouflaged. and what really makes the situation even more awkward is when there is a line in the bathroom (which for women, happens more often than not) and someone is waiting for your stall. what are you supposed to do, walk out and say. "hi, i'm lauren, and i'm twenty one years old, and i couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet. enjoy!" 

this could create fear in people. i sense an epidemic of toilet phobias in our future. we must do something to stop it, we cannot let these automatic flushers control us. i just don't understand why going to the bathroom has to be so difficult. 

verdict: i may be borderline clinically crazy, have just been imagining this whole thing, and now instead of opening the eyes of the world to a serious problem, have just made myself the butt of a lot of toilet humor. 

excuse me, may i, please....thank you.

manners. sometimes i think i am one of the few people in the world to have been taught manners when i was growing up. no offense to my generation, but you guys are RUDE! it never really occurred to me that politeness was something people lacked until others kept commenting on how unusual it was to hear someone use it. but now, using my super observational skills, i see exactly what they are talking about. some people have absolutely no tact.  

for example, when did it become okay to answer your phone in the movie theatre? why on earth would you think that the hundred other people enjoying the deep intellect of the latest chick flick, would rather hear you telling your bff you can't hang out. we all know you can't hang out, you're in a movie!! let it go to voicemail, i promise it won't be the end of your world. or what about talking on your phone in the library? i have no idea why i would assume i could get some quiet study hours in, when you obviously have to catch up with your mother. a little tip for the future: try talking on the phone outside, that way you won't have any silent study-ers affecting the conversation. and lastly, just because you got to class early, and the teacher hasn't arrived yet, does not mean the entire class wants to hear about your raunchy one night stand. i always knew one day i would be punished for being extremely punctual. 

hmm maybe it can be concluded that the invention of cell phones was really where our manners went down the drain. i wonder if anyone has done any research into that. but seriously, call me old fashioned, but we as a generation need to work to keep manners alive. i challenge all of my readers (all two of them) to say please, and thank you, and hopefully influence others to do the same. 

i mean this is serious, in a few years "bless you" after sneezing could be extinct!!

under pressure

so i have a problem.

it has suddenly become apparent to me that i cannot do anything that needs to be done unless under the pressure of extreme procrastination. i have lost all motivation... to do anything. let's call it movo. i've lost my movo. and i am really interested in getting it back, but obviously it is just going to have to wait until i do a thousand other useless things first. for example, i am taking two english classes this semester. both recquire that i read multiple books, which is something i have definitely been struggling with. i mean who has time to just sit and read. i know i certainly don't, unless of course, for some ridiculous reason i get involved in reading twilight. AGAIN. then suddenly i have hours and days to just relax and dream of edward cullen. and now here i am, two previously read books in, and absolutely no where closer to passing any of my classes.

ugghh when did i become such a slacker?

i do have to say that it has progressively gotten worse. the more time i spend in school the lazier i get. that really should be my incentive for getting out faster, but instead i proooooocrastinated. i'll be taking another year. it's wierd because i like school, i like learning, i don't really mind doing the work, annnnnd i get frustrated and really sick when i leave things to the last minute.but that hasn't stopped me and somehow i always manage to scrape by. mom and dad should be so proud.

here it is, sunday, another weekend completely wasted and nothing to show for it, except a cozy dent in my bed from where i have been laying all weekend, and a feeling of lust after a sexy vampire. i have a whole mess of sewing to do, including fixing the effing machine first, but of course it's just going to have to wait. my movo is still MIA, and mr. cullen awaits...