Dear ABC,

First I would like to commend you on what seems to be a huge upper hand in television lineup this past season. While there was a definite lull in good shows there for a while, you seemed to have contributed greatly to fixing that, and even hit some big success' along the way. I have to say that your Wednesday night is my new fav. Loving Cougartown, and LOVING Modern Family even more. You really struck gold with that one, so keep it coming!! I even enjoyed the Middle, although from what I have heard most other people did not. The Forgotten is good too! (*cough, and it should be picked for a second season, cough*) I have also always been a loyal fan to Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Dancing with the Stars, and I may or may not have been sucked into a few season's of the Bachelor/Bachelorette. (I'll blame that one on my sneaky roomie Ali). And if all of that gratitude isn't enough, you are the one network that owns the rights to the greatest devotion I have ever exerted in my life. We all know how dedicated I have been to your little gem of a show, Lost, and it is that reason alone that has sparked this lovely letter.

We have a BIG BIG problem!

The other day as I was checking up on my celebrity gossip, I stumbled upon this little statement from the producers of Lost:

"Co-creator Damon Lindelof explained: "Now that we're [preparing] the finale, we're not at all having the experience of 'Oh, my God, we forgot to do this!' We're big fans of the show Top Chef. Those guys all run through Whole Foods and they have to pull all of this stuff down — they have to get stuff they might not use in the dish.

"When they get to the kitchen, they have to decide whether or not they're going to use it. Our process is kind of the same."

First of all, I would like to comment on the fact that that is the worst comparison to your writing process ever! You're telling me that I have just wasted six years of my life, and my questions are not going to get answered because you like a competitive cooking show, where the contestants sometimes buy too many ingredients that they don't always get to use. That is the absolute most demented analogy I have ever heard. Basically you are saying that you opened up way too many small stupid story lines, and now you don't have enough time to wrap them all up. Yeah, I could have told you that three seasons ago, before you wasted anymore of my time. But no, you had to keep insisting there was a plan, and this was all going to come together. Lies, all lies. Thanks for that lame excuse though. I feel totally satisfied now knowing the reason I am not going to get my answers is based on such a credible concept...like Top Chef. You probably should have thought twice about throwing that statement out there, I would have had more respect for you if you had just kept your mouth shut.



But it gets better:

"Co-creator Carlton Cuse continues:"There's a lot of little questions that unfortunately we just don't have time to answer in the amount of time that we have left. Ultimately, the way we look at it is that if the characters don't care about that question, then we as storytellers don't care about that question."

"We feel like the show should stand on its own. We're actually not going to comment on the show after the finale. We want everybody to basically be able to continue the dialogue…

"We don't think it's really appropriate for us to say, 'Oh, here is the official definition for what we meant by any particular moment on the show.' "

Well that sucks. Thanks for the memo. Six years too late. Couldn't we have gotten a disclaimer when the show first started. "Plane Crashes on mysterious island, weird things happen, all the characters are interconnected...oooooh, get LOST, and by the way, we might not ever explain any of it to you." At least then I would understand fully what I am getting myself into. Then there would be no one to blame in the end except myself. But you didn't, so now I blame you.

So in conclusion, bravo on your new shows. I am not happy about this LOST situation, and I will continue to hold this grudge for a while. I hope you now know that I am going to embark upon new shows very wearily, you have scarred my commitment forever.

Sincerely,
elle dub

pictures here

help, i'm LOST

Back in April of last year I wrote a little post about the show Lost. Now almost a year later, as we embark upon the last and final season, I am beginning to find that my sentiments about the show have not changed much.

Six years ago, I sat down to watch this show with my family, I was then a naive 17 year old swept up by an enthralling storyline, and good looking actors. Little did I know, my loyalty to this show, would become one of the longest relationships I have ever had... with anything. I have given this show a level of dedication I didn't even know I could exert. And now Lost owes me. Big time. Over the years it seems my family kind of lost interest, and who can blame them, six years is a LONG time to air a whopping 100 episodes. About a month ago I was excitedly telling my Dad that Lost was going to start soon, and I was thrilled that I would finally be getting my answers. My dad laughed, his little "I work in the tv industry, and I think you'll be disappointed" laugh, and asked, "What is it exactly that you are expecting of this show?"

For a moment I was perplexed. What do I want? ANSWERS. I want logical answers. Something about this island is really effed up and I want to know why. How is it possible that everyone can travel through time, why everyone who lives on the island insists upon killing other people, and why are they all listening to an invisible man who lives in a rickety shack? If the entire premise is something the writers completely made up, I am expecting them to have written an entire historical anthology to back this theory up. I am talking J.R.R Tolkien status. If that doesn't happen, ABC better beware...they will have a very heated letter (gasp. not a letter!) coming their way.

I sat down on the couch Tuesday night, with a small ray of hope, smug that I finally made it to the last season, and everything was finally going be explained! Well it didn't take more than five minutes into the episode, for me to realize that bit of hope was going to be blasted to smithereens. Once again, the dramatic L-O-S-T floated to the screen, and all I could utter was "WHAT-THE-EFF?" Seriously Lost? Seriously?! Here is what I have to say about the season premiere:

Well thanks for the answers. You really cleared a lot of stuff up. I'm glad you chose to introduce a whole different tribe of new characters. I really wasn't having a hard time keeping the SEVEN HUNDRED other cast members in order, sure let's throw in twenty more. Not to mention, does it ever end? How many people freaking live in this island? Are we going to find a small city of Keebler elves living within the endless forest? I mean I guess that would explain why everyone on the show seems so well fed... And I LOOOVED the parallel universes you created. Now we have two sets of each character living at the same time, and that is absolutely 100 percent comprehensible. Happens all the time right? Lastly, who the hell is actually dead? It seems like everyone I thought was gone completely is now suddenly back. So now I am trying to meet new characters, while desperately raking my brain trying to remember the story lines for all the characters that died five years ago. Kudos for keeping me in the dark, because that is exactly what you have achieved.

I am completely and utterly LOST. There is no other way to say it. I cannot figure out whether we are in the present, past, future, or an absolutely new time zone. It seems that all rules have been broken, and I feel like the writers are just calling this a free for all. They have torn through all their boundaries, and I fear they just are not going to be able wrap it all up. Then I will officially have wasted six years of my life trying to understand this enigma.

All I am asking for is some satisfaction. I think, as a the dedicated follower I have been, I deserve at least that much. I just want to get off the couch after the final episode, and give myself a little high five. Go Lauren! It was worth sticking it out...unfortunately I am not holding my breath. Unless things start getting explained soon, I am not sure I will even understand when they finally tie up all the story lines. I am a full time college student, I can only allot so much of my brain to mysterious plane crashes on magical islands.

is anyone else out there LOST?

so about five years ago, i got myself involved in this new little show called Lost.

(just before we get into this, let's take a minute to go back five years and check out life back then: that would put me in my senior year in highschool, awkward, thinking the valley was awesome, and having probably some of the worst friends anyone could have. basically what i am getting it is, life has drastically changed since then)

now back to Lost. the show was advertised all over tv, and presented an interesting premise, so my family and i tuned in. my first thought was hey, good looking people, interesting twists, and some seriously hot love triangles. sounds a okay to me. cut to five years later:

what the FUCK is going on?

seriously though, when is this madness going to end, when are all the story lines going to come together and when am i going to get all my freaking answers!! this has by far been the most commited relationship that i have had with a tv show ever. yeah i was obsessed with friends back in the day, but in no way did i invest as much effort into that, as Lost has forced me to do. ross and rachel breaking up never emotionally drained me, and left me confused with no hope for clarification. not only that, but this show continually takes eight month long hiatuses, and i still crawl back for more. and every week, more and more characters are introduced and now time traveling is involved. it is really getting ridiculous. but i am h-ooooo-ked. i don't think i will ever understand.

it has been so long since the show started that i cannot even keep track of what has happened. i figure the producers purposely did that because they are planning to rake in the big dough with the series super special DVD release, Lost encyclopedia included. so there goes five years of my life and a 150 dollars. and all just to understand why this magical island makes paralyzed people walk, turns the dead into alive, and kills people with scary black smoke monsters. i think i was once warned as a kid not to get involved in nonsense. it has now become very clear that i don't listen well.

i just don't get it. i'm absolutely Lost. and i cant even laugh at that pun, because i know it's on purpose. all i have to say is they better give me some freaking answers, and it better be good. i am not going to settle for some bullshit about a time continuum. or an effing dream sequence. i have invested five years, probably six by the end, to being a dedicated viewer of this show, the least they can do is show me some more half naked bodies, some hot sex scenes, and come up with an amazing explanation to this madness.

well i am off to get Lost. whatever have i got myself into?