an anonymous letter to a member of the general public

dear man sitting next to me on the muni, this evening,

was it absolutely necessary for you to sit with your legs spread completely open as far as possible. is it uncomfortable for you to move them just a little closer together? i know, from personal experience, that it would not have been comfy to have them clamped together, but i think you could have spared me a couple inches. also, did you have to have your elbow jammed into my side the entire ride? were you in a horrible accident where you lost all nerve feeling in your arm? is that why you didn't notice you were poking me for such a long time. maybe you mistook my cushy tummy for soft air. yeah, i hear people encounter soft pillow-y air all the time, so maybe that is understandable.

i'm also thinking that maybe your tie was so tight that you missed the fact that i was uncomfortably smashed against the wall. i have pretty broad shoulders, many a time i have been mistaken for someone athletic, but sitting with my shoulders twisted forward the entire ride, is usually not a normal position. and just another FYI, people don't usually sit with their arms stretched straight out in front of them. thanks to your territorial man complex my body aches from trying to occupy such a small space for such a long time.

and lastly, when everyone got out of the train and the two seats next to you emptied, thanks for not moving over. i was really enjoying the enchanting claustrophobia, so i really would not have been interested in having more space.

Love,
the beautiful girl sitting next to you on muni, this evening.