walking on sunshine

i walk incredibly fast.

i think this stems from the fact that i absolutely hate to be late, so i am always in a rush to make sure i am on time. the funny thing is, my irrational fear of being late, combined with my overcompensation in walking, makes me absurdly early ALL the time. so much so that i almost consider it a flaw. i am always having to find ways to kill ten of fifteen minutes, because showing up to work a half hour early is just unacceptable.

anyway i think my power walking is starting to cause me some more health issues. it's possible that my knees and hips are starting to go, which isn't really surprising, since this hot body of mine functions like an 80 year old. for those of you confused, i have all sorts of health problems, knees and hips would just be cherries on top of the delicious sundae that is my life.

the main issue i'm always in limbo about is my back. i've been to so many doctors, and tried so many things, but i guess it's something i'll just continue to live with. this one time i did physical therapy, but physical therapy at the school health center. which really amounts to a doctor, and a grad student helping me out. i am all for the learning experience, obviously someone needs to practice somewhere, but eventually i couldn't handle it anymore. they would talk about me as if i wasn't in the room. it was like a pop quiz every day, and i didn't know any of the answers, and it seems the grad student didn't either.

Doc: "so she has shooting pains down her legs, and dull pain in her back, and every once in a while she throws it out, so she must have...."

Grad Student: "ummmm sciatica...??

Doc: "okay and....?

alright people, i can't take the build up anymore. just give it to me straight! i don't have time to learn the lesson here, i need to know whats wrong with me!

the killer point was when i went in for my consultation, after they looked at my MRI they had me walk barefoot laps around the health center so they could asses my ability to walk. as if power walking laps in hospital gown shorts wasn't embarrassing enough (i mean i DO go to this school, and so do ALOT of people i know) they proceeded to have this shocked discussion. i kid you not they stood there with puzzled expressions, brushing their chins in thought...

Grad Student:"hmmmm interesting"

Doc: "yes very intriguing..."

then they would turn to me,

Doc: "do you ever have trouble walking?"

Me: "umm not really, i actually walk quite fast?"

Doc: "huh, and you never fall because your legs collapse underneath you?"

Me: "what!? no....should they?"

Doc: "oh no no reason, (turns to grad student) this is very interesting indeed!"

and after three or four sessions i still never figured out what my problem is. maybe i should really stop power walking, since apparently my body shouldn't be able to handle it. but hey, if i stopped walking so fast, i would really cut off a large source of things people can make fun of me for. and who doesn't want to watch the dumb power walking girls legs collapse as she falls on her face. seriously the things i do to entertain you all!! i'm a saint.

on a side note: happy turkey day!