it's a hair past a freckle

i can tell time. i swear.

i'm pretty sure they teach you how to read an analog clock in elementary school...in one of the lower grades, like first or second. of course, being the child genius i was, i picked up on this new phenomenon pretttty quickly. when i was in middle school i used to wear my sweet rhinestoned roxy watch everyday, and i am fairly confident that i didn't have any trouble telling time then either. it's obvious i mentally peaked then and it's just been a steady decline all these other years.

i started wearing a watch regularly again, mainly because it's nice to be aware of the time when i'm at work. i have some pretty awesome analog watches, including a rainbow swatch, that i like to wear, and for the most part i have no issues deciphering the time, unless someone asks me. it's as if "hey do you know what time it is?" is the magic combination of words that makes me forget everything. i panic. i start to get really nervous that i am going to look stupid if i can't spit the numbers out fast enough. this of course makes me look even more idiotic, because in the end i shout out something that isn't even remotely close. this is always followed by a perplexed and sympathetic look. which i am almost positive is due to what is running through the asker's mind: "oh poor stupid girl, it's politically incorrect to make fun of mentally challenged people in public...but i can't wait to tell susie when i get home!"

for fear of coming off even ditsier i have taken to wearing a digital watch more often these days. it also helps that i have a pretty effing amazing casio calculator watch. jealous? yeah you should be. maybe this is why my coworkers seem to always talk to me in a slow, meant for a five year old voice. oh it's so hard being a genius stuck in the body of a socially awkward turtle...