LA LA LA

Welp. I officially graduated college. Well, I officially wore the cap and gown and received my official "upon final review of your application you will receive your diploma" letter. So now I'm just sitting with my fingers crossed waiting for the grades to roll in. I'm pretty positive I'll be okay but sending some luck my way couldn't hurt.

So now what do I do? I guess it's time to start progressively growing up right? Well like most things in my life I'm gonna procrastinate on that small detail just a little bit longer. That's right in a weekish I am reverting back to my childhood and moving back in with good ole Mom and Dad. I'm sick of paying bills, hunting people down for rent, and fixing things. I have re lit the pilot light in the water heater, stuck my hand down the garbage disposal, and reset the fuse box way too many times. So now I think I am gonna to take a break. Next time something sparks and then explodes I'm gonna sit back and shout, "Daaaaaaaaad!" I heard that was the magic word to get things fixed, I'm just itching to see if it works. (Oh Dad, I can already see your smirk and hear your scoff as you read this. Don't pretend you're not excited to have me hanging around the house all the time.)

I'm pretty stoked for this new roommate situation. I think it's gonna work out real well. I'll just be happy to have food in the house with regularity, and the occasional home cooked meal. It takes very little to please me. I have even been upgraded from the library to the guestroom. Which is great because I don't think my college degree was going to provide me with the appropriate credentials to manage my parents book collection. The Dewey Decimal system always confused me. I doubt they'll let me forget that my new room is actually the guestroom though. Pretty sure they don't want me getting too attached to living there. I'll try not to, but I can't promise they won't get too attached to me. I am pretty awesome.

Luckily this time when it came to moving , my Dad and brothers were able to come up and help me out. The last time I moved I had to fend for myself and I think four girls with a 24 foot U-Haul in San Francisco is explanation enough for why it was imperative I get some help this time around. Unfortunately my Dad was here last weekend for graduation, so he only wanted to stay until Tuesday. This means that all of my stuff, with the exception of two suitcases and a mattress topper has been gone since Monday night. So for the rest of the week I am inhabiting in what my roommates so fondly call a crack den. My life is nothing if not thrilling.

I am excited to embark on a new adventure in a new (old) place, meet new people, and try different things. It's clear that a change of scenery is something I really need, but I am really sad to be leaving this city. It will always have a piece of my heart and I think that's collateral enough to keep coming back. (DANIELLE!) It hasn't even hit me that I'm really leaving. I have been so caught up in finishing school, packing, cleaning, and dealing with my job that this whole past week has been a blur. Even though I have lifted box after box and donated all my furniture to Salvation army, it still feels like I am just heading home for summer break and eventually I'll be back. I am sure that once I am home, possibly unemployed, and with what will seem like an endless amount of unpacking, the sadness will probably set in. I'll have to find something to keep my mind off of thinking about it too much.

So for now, it's a weekend filled with 22 and a half hours of work, cleaning, and tying up all the loose odds and ends. Then it's up early Monday morning for one last decent down the lovely I-5. (I'm excited to hit all my favorite gas station bathrooms, unfortunately I'll be way to early for Sonic slushie happy hour.Which is even MORE collateral for making a trip back!) But don't worry San Francisco, even though I am heading back to the land where people talk like me, I'll be visiting before you know it!

Thanks for showing me a hella good time. <3

RING RING!

Isn't it weird when people have "regular phone" ringtones on their cell phones? I honestly get really tripped out when I am walking around the mall and all the sudden it sounds like my parent's land line is ringing. How confusing is that when these people are at home and someone calls, how do they differentiate between which phone it is? I am definitely slower than that average smart person when it comes to these things, and if this was a problem I had to face on a regular basis you would see me standing between the two phones with my eyes moving back and forth like a koo koo clock. That's right, I would be perplexed, undoubtedly every time. The other thing that gets me is how it always has to be the most ancient regular phone sound. It seriously sounds like that candlestick phone that my grandparents have in their house. You know the one where you have to hold one piece to your ear and talk into the other. There is nothing like hearing that crazy ring and turning to see some guy answer his iphone. Always cracks me up....and maybe that was his intention.

I think ringtones say a lot about a person. In a world where we are practically inseparable and dependent upon our phones, ringtones are open ground for making judgements about people. I know this, because like all of you I am guilty of judging based on ringtones. Maybe judging has too negative a connotation, but you know when you get to experience a person's ringtone for the first time, it makes you think. Why that song? or Really?? This is precisely why I spent days trying to find the perfect one. That and the fact that I know I am too lazy to change it all the time, so I had to come up with something that I wouldn't get sick of. And it was worth it, because I found the perfect ringtone.. It is everything I could have ever asked for. And more.


"Tootsie Roll" by the 69 Boyz. First of all this song brings back nothing but fond memories of elementary school. I had older brothers, who were into the whole rap/ r&b thing, so obviously my taste was advanced for my age, I don't really like to brag about it. Second of all it is a jaaaaaam! I love this song, and I do a mean tootsie roll. (for a completely uncoordinated, rhythm less white girl). Every time my phone rings I like to do a little dance, because the song is so good! How could you resist? But what I love most about this ringtone is people never expect it from me. They hear my phone ringing and turn around, definitely not expecting to find an awkward bright color wearing white girl. I like that look of surprise people give me, it makes me smile. I feel like I am earning extra cool points; "Alright Lauren, you're kind of weird, but legit ringtone, we'll hire you!" haha A girl can hope!! So my advice to all of you is to take some time, come up with a good ringtone, and give the people around you something to think about...

Stupid Retail Question of the Day

"This dress is $29.50!? I was here just last week and it was on sale for $15!" 

The first two things I draw from this statement, is that you have a good memory and pretty decent observation skills. These are great characteristics to have, and I think they are really going to aid you in understanding this concept I am about to blow your mind with. Get ready, it's going to be a doozy...

While I understand there are things all throughout the store that are FOR SALE, in the sense that you can purchase them, there is a big difference between that and being ON SALE. A "sale" is a promotion, a reducing of prices, it's fun because it only happens for a certain amount of time. It's like a game, you have to get to the store during that time frame, and if you make it, you are rewarded with the merchandise for that special price! It's thrilling and exciting! How boring would it be if everything was the reduced price all the time. Come on now, embrace the challenge! Not to mention it pretty much negates the concept of being "on sale" if it's the reduced price all the time. And where is the fun in that?

So yes, that dress is now full price, because last week was last week, and the sale is now over. Obviously you have not quite mastered the technique to successfully winning at this game. But guess what? practice makes perfect, and this week we have a new sale! So get out there and charge charge charge!

Snoozer Loser

I have never been much of a snoozer. I could never really understand the point behind it; the alarm goes off, you snooze, you finally fall back asleep, and then the alarm just goes off again! It seemed so frustrating to me. I have always been a "get up as soon as the alarm goes off" kind of a girl. That was of course until recently, when I really discovered what that snoozing button is all about. And that has led me to nothing but trouble...

Believe it or not, I actually used to consider myself to be a morning person. My whole family (with the exception of my sister) are pretty early risers, and I have never had a problem getting out of bed, even if I didn't really want to. But lately this has not been the case. Whether it be the lack of sleep due to all my final projects, or the fact that I have developed probably the biggest case of senioritis known to mankind, I have just been so freaking tired all the time! Getting out of bed has become the bane of my existence, and I am ready to do anything to prolong it. And so snoozing gets involved...

Looking back on it, it's really a big surprise that snoozing didn't corrupt my life sooner. I mean I LOVE to procrastinate, which is exactly what the snooze buttons enables; just five more minutes before I have to get out of bed. Just FIVE more minutes! Cut to me, ten snooze hits later, jumping out of bed and having to forgo my morning crack coffee, because I'm going to be late to class. And I am never late. I began to hate myself and everything the snooze button made me become. But my addiction got so bad that I started setting my alarm two hours a head of when I really needed to get up, just so I could feel the power of snoozing. This, I have to say, was not one of my brighter plans in life, but I just couldn't stop.

It's clear that I had developed a problem, one that needed to be solved immediately, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to give up my snoozing. I tried to tell myself that it was under control, and I could stop at any time, but I have now realized that I lack the self control needed to take up snoozing professionally. I will never be able to do anything more than dabble in the amateur level, and it seems the consequences are starting to outweigh the perks at an alarmingly (oh puns are fun) fast rate. This morning after snoozing six times, I fell asleep only to wake up at 8:07, when my class started at 8:10. Unacceptable. I have never been this sloppy and scattered, and I don't like it at all. So snooze button, our short lived flame was fun while it lasted, but it's back to the traditional one time alarm for me.

I guess what they say really is true. You snooze, you lose!

Unecessary.

Retail stores usually have a set time that they open and a set time that they close. This allows for a specific amount of hours in which the store is admissible and available for you to shop in. For many stores it's a good twelve hour chunk of time, sometimes even longer depending on the type of store. It is true that for smaller shops the hours can get trickier, closing early, opening later, possibly being closed completely for whole days. But for the most part store hours are pretty generalized and I think it's fairly easy to get the gist. These hours however, are not merely a suggested guideline that you can manipulate to whatever fits you best. You should not expect to saunter into a store ten minutes before it closes and start shopping at your own leisure. There are things that need to be done to achieve the actual closing of the store, and you continually touching and unfolding the neat piles is not helping us accomplish them.

Quite frankly, there is no way that it is absolutely imperative that you get a Graphic T at 8:58pm. If at that point in time you don't already have an outfit picked out for your evening, just go home, and get into bed, the night has no possibility of success anyway. I understand that it is impossible for everyone to be gone immediately as the store closes, but once that music shuts off, I think it's necessary to at least acknowledge the oncoming close, and start swiftly making your exit. Being the last customer in the store gives you no benefits in any way. You will not get an exclusive prize, you will not score on any extra deals, and believe it or not you won't be treated special in any way. In fact, there is a much higher chance that we will be short with you. So don't be rude.

Just because you have managed to wander around the store, oblivious to the fact that most of the people have vacated, and the store is looking more put together, does not give you the right to be rude to your cashier. I sympathize, what a drag, you have to wait in line! Well guess what, while you're standing in line, your cashier is dealing with the 12 idiots in front of you. Do you still wonder why we don't have any expectations for your IQ when your turn finally arrives? Not to mention the eye rolling is not encouraging me to scan those barcodes faster. The line is long because the store is CLOSED, and most of the employees are off for the evening.  Shouldn't have waited til the last minute to buy those sixteen pairs of flip flops. Procrastination is never really rewarded. I would know; I procrastinate my procrastinating.

So get your shopping done early;  Make an event out of it! Grab some lunch, enjoy the daylight! And if for some extenuating circumstance you must enter a store right before it closes, pick up the pace, and at least try and be quick about your decisions. If nothing else, I'll appreciate the effort. .