November Schmovember

November Night with the Girls

It's November! First of all, where the hell did time go? I literally have finals in a month, and then I will officially be done with my first semester of grad school. Only three to go after that! Guess I better get on that thesis topic. But don't worry, I have some ideas I am pretty excited about, and I will undoubtedly become one of those obnoxious people who can't stop talking about their thesis. So get excited friends. Other than finals prep, November means a lot of things for me:

The beginning of the Holiday season!! Woo hoo. I absolutely love this time of year; pumpkin flavored everything, hot chocolate, ice skating, hats, boots, insane amounts of Welden baking, and just good ole quality time with the family. Not to mention Thanksgiving food! My favorite, and this year I have to eat double time, because last year I was a vegetarian, so I missed out on all the turkey and ham. I assume I'll probably eat myself into a turkey coma, but don't worry I'll make sure I get in my fair share of candied yams before I pass out. Can't wait! Then Hanukkah and Christmas; hello latkes and lots of delicious desserts. I'm really into food, in case you couldn't tell. And then January, which means a New Year, but most
importantly....VEGAS!

Last year's amazing Vegas Adventure

Although I couldn't be more excited for the Holidays, November also means the end of my social life as we know it. I am about to enter into a retail black hole and I won't be resurfacing until January 1st. That is if I don't get rampaged by some crazed, money saving, stroller pushing, raging mother trying to swoop up all the best deals for all her Holiday shopping. When working in such a dangerous industry as retail, this occurrence is a very plausible possibility. But what this means for you guys, my loyal followers, is lots of stories about shopping psychos. This will include, but not be limited to, a crazy shift on Black Friday, starting at 3am, and the glorious 36 hours that my store has decided to stay open for some non stop last minute Christmas shopping. Hilarity and stupidity are sure to ensue.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

In other news, my Halloween was pretty rocking. I once again succeeded in making some pretty sweet costumes, and my friends and I proceeded to relive our college years by picking the fratty-est bar to celebrate in. I guess you can take the girl out of the sorority, but not the sorority out of the girl. It was a top night if you ask me, and we even got to see someone get tazed in the end. The cherry on top of a fantastic evening. I love a night out that concludes in a good moral lesson; don't resist arrest and you'll probably avoid getting tazed. As for actual Halloween I got to work a nine hour shift and then come home and hang out with my family. I think once again this picture will provide you more insight into how I became the lovely person I am today.

Welden Family Halloween 2010

Yep, that's us. In dog masks. Playing poker on the front porch. And handing out candy. A lot of people got a good kick out of it, so I'll admit it was a witty idea of my fathers. Things I learned from that evening: I'm always in when it comes to poker. Especially when I haven't seen the flop yet. And I am always down for a good $600 bet, even when I have absolutely nothing. Despite my arguments, "almost a straight" and "almost a flush" mean nothing when it comes to Poker with the fam. I find this to be ridiculous.

For those of you who enjoy shopping at any Old Navy, Gap or Banana Republic, it's friends and family weekend starting on the 11th. Here's a coupon for 30% off all the stores. Use it and reuse it and enjoy! 5% of all the purchases go to my charity Feed America! Cute clothes and a mitzvah at the same time. Could you ask for more! 

Give and Get is Here!: "Enjoy 30% off from November 11-14 at Gap, Banana Republic and Old Navy plus we'll make a 5% donation to a non-profit."

Ode to the Self Checkout

i am a very independent person, and i very stubbornly so like to do things on my own. i hate having to depend on people to get things done, and i hate having to ask for help. despite my lack of plumbing knowledge i would love to take my garbage disposal apart myself before calling a professional in. now i know that this is a bad idea, but i still can't help feeling that urge. just like the many other times, i've moved furniture alone, instead of waiting for help, or thrown out my back lifting heavy boxes i shouldn't have. i just know that i am more efficient than the average person, so if i do it myself, it will get done, and done well. (that's what he said!) this most obviously applies to buying my groceries as well.

enter greatest invention ever: The Self Checkout.



seriously sit down for a minute and think about it: how awesome are these things? not only do they make real every childhood game of market you played, but they also provide a way for you to control the efficiency of ringing up and bagging your items. and if that is not enough, they provide a lovely shopping experience with the least amount of social interaction possible. the cherry on top for a crazy socially awkward person like me! i admit, occasionally these checkouts can be flawed, but not having to make uncomfortable conversation with the 12 year old ringing me up is absolutely worth it. i love stores with self checkouts, and sometimes i even go out of my way to go to stores that have them. i just know i'm guaranteed a good time when there is the possibility of a self checkout involved!

oh dad loves those dioramas.

every once in a while someone will call me an overachiever. my response to that is, WOAH there, let's not get carried away with big words quite yet. no need to make assumptions and label them as fact. let's set the record straight, i am not an overachiever, i am just a simple gal with a high level of common sense. i'm smarter than the average bear and therefore i have been able to ride the success train to mediocrity fairly smoothly. alright, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but let it be known that i consider my laziness one of my most beloved traits, and i am out there to destroy any vicious rumors that are trying to discredit that fact.

i have a feeling the root of this rumor stems in my childhood, more specifically i am going to pin point it to that very first diorama project in elementary school, and then every similar project there after. and for those i have my father to thank.

my dad is actually a pretty cool guy. hopefully he'll read this, and then i'll be off the hook for the one time my friend said, "hey your dad's really smart" to which i replied without hesitation "not really." it's rare for someone to admit, and i maybe i'll regret it greatly later, but my dad actually does seem to know everything. seriously, it's creepy, in a good way, because at the same time it is extremely helpful. despite the fact that he lives in LA and i in SF i count on him to solve my endless problems, probably not the best dependency to have, but hey, at least it's not drugs. anyway my dad LOVES to build things. i can remember the twinkle in his eye when there was a new diorama project on the horizon. missing the connection? well i'll give it to you plain and simple:

remember back when that kid brought in their giant, perfectly to scale, foam carved, faux grass and moss covered, complete with miniature trees, animal habitat, and set it down next to your shoe box and play dough disaster? well that was me. the girl that made your diorama come to life and scurry away in it's own embarrassment.

my dad lived for dioramas. he was always so much more excited to them than i was. this was serious business. never once did i turn in a project in a shoe box, that was too simple. no we had to construct our own box shape from a larger scrap of cardboard. i can remember many a trip to the hobby train stores to pick up some moss and trees, shredded tissue paper just wasn't going to cut it, and i honestly had no idea that industrial spray glue was not something everyone just had lying around in their garage. despite the fact that my dioramas always looked far superior to anyone else's, as a kid i was always embarrassed to turn them in. i hated all the attention and envy i got from all the kids. i remember begging my dad to just do one project in a shoe box....please please can we make this one look crappy? oh kids just do the darndest things!

in fifth grade, we had to do some sort of diorama project on animals, and mine was a panda. well my dad got this great idea that we build the habitat in a box that closes completely, and then we poke a small hole in it. this way we can put in some panda pictures, and when everyone squints through the hole, it will look like they are three dimensional. i have the admit the finished project was pretty effing cool. i took it to school, and i am pretty sure my teacher had no idea what to do about it. i mean i got at A, it was awesome, and she understood that as well. but she put everyone elses on display and made a point to hand mine back and take it home. looking back it makes sense, because from the outside it just looked like a green box, but of course being as sensitive as i was i took it completely personally. the politically correct thing the teacher should have done was just kept mine up there, and i wouldn't have known the difference. but my fifth grade teacher was not very politically correct, among other things.

it was projects like this panda diorama, and my ninth grade three dimensional leafy sea dragon, that i am sure people have seen and assumed over achieving must be my thing. so let's straighten this out, moral of the story is, apparently my dad loves making dioramas. and what kind of a daughter would i be, to deny him that joy? so really, i'm not an overachiever, i am just a great person.

wow it seems i even learned something from this post.

my life as i know it

don't you hate it when you go to the market and you buy a giant brand new container of nonfat yogurt to eat for breakfast. then two days later you get sick with a cold and you can't eat dairy. you're sick for two weeks and your yogurt goes bad.

such is my life.

AWK with extra WARD

i'm convinced i have a social anxiety disorder. i'm not sure if such a thing actually exists, but it sounds like something that would. and by convinced i mean that i have already self diagnosed myself with this infliction. i pretty much visit web md everyday, so therefore i have all the qualifications necessary to make such a hefty call. my particular case is an interesting one, because it does not seriously debilitate me from being in social situations, it makes me very awkward or weird.

being around people makes me nervous. sometimes really nervous, and i begin to freak out about how to behave around such people. it's almost like i lose control over my mind and body, and i just freeze up. if you have spent some time around me, you will easily realize when these symptoms set in. i become really quiet and uncomfortable looking. my eyes start to roam all over and i make bizarre facial expressions. i'll bite my nails or twiddle my thumbs. it's very weird, and unfortunately if you didn't know me very well, you'd just think i was creepy, unsocial and awkward. truth is though, turmoil is going on in my body. my stomach is churning and i feel really rigid and panicked in what to do.

recently this has been happening a lot to me at work, which is the worst. my whole brain gets flustered and i have a really hard time interacting with the children. a major result of this social anxiety kicking in is my use of big words and fancy phrases. which as you have read below confuses everyone, and scrambles my thoughts up even more. today for example i spent a painful four hours trying to teach breast stoke to kids of varying ages. after a failed explanation on my part, one girl flopped across the pool, in her interpretation of what i said, to which my coworker replied, "what stroke are you trying to teach?" the more i think about it, the more i wonder if i am sane enough to be around children.

so if we ever meet (which is likely since nathalie is really the only one who reads this thing...to which i thank her!) and i am completely weird and uncomfortable, it's most likely my social anxiety disorder, SAD if you will, and not you. unless you're creepy, in which case it is you.

Reasons Why Group Projects SUCK:

1. It is virtually impossible or organize a convenient time to meet (outside of class) when you are working with multiple school and work and life schedules. "well looks like 3am it is!"

2. No matter what, one person always ends up doing most of the work: whether it's you because you're anal compulsive, or your partner because you're being lazy...either way it sucks balls.

3. Due to lack of meeting time, there is always some sort of scramble at the last minute to throw it all together, causing unneeded stress and anxiety to the group.

4. Sometimes you just fucking hate your group members: newsflash! they are probably lame.

5. There is always some struggle with difference of opinion: two hours into the meeting you realize you're fighting over whether to use glitter glue or paint pens, and that's a serious disagreement.

6. They're expensive: i don't know if it's because teachers think that since you are in a group it must magically mean everything is cheaper. lies. especially if you opted for those glitter glues.

7. It always seems they are due in the middle of midterms and finals: teachers seem to be under the impression that group work is not nearly as hard as writing papers and taking exams. so you'll have no problem doing both, right? oh yeah no worries, looks like i have some time between 12am-6am that i have been wasting sleeping...

8. You get to meet new people: yes, but that doesn't mean that it's improving my life. if anything it just feeds into my anger management issues. why is bob such an idiot? no, but seriously...

9. Sometimes you get grouped with people who do not share the same ideals on communication as you: wait, so there are people in the world who don't check their email compulsively twenty times a day? well how am i supposed to get a hold of you?

10. Despite what they say, I do not feel better equipped for the real world: if i was assigned a group project at work, everyone would be into it, because it would be their JOB. they would be getting paid for it.

Well there's a thought....i should be getting paid to do group work. Well in that case...s-i-g-n me u-p!