if i can read it, SO CAN YOU!

My roommate basically tricked me into reading this book with the promise of a future movie involving Anton Yelchin, whom we adore. Despite my rule of seeing the movie first, i figured by the time the movie actually came out i'd have forgotten the book, and besides i was going away for a weekend and needed some form of entertainment. Having spent the entire beginning of summer rereading mindless books, i was pretty thrilled at the aspect of something new.

I began the book, and immediately noticed that i was flyyyyyyying through it. I couldn't help but feel a small sense of pride, noting that despite half of my brain dying in my inexplicable obsession with the Twilight Saga, i still had my knack for reading. I imagined the actors as the characters i assumed they would play, and was falling in love. It's a pretty interesting storyline, filled with humor, and quirky characters. Exactly the kind of book i needed for vacation.

I finished the book in a day, and once i got back to civilization in San Francisco, i started doing some research on the movie. the first thing i came across was that this is actually a book written for the young adult crowd (ding ding ding, that must be why i read through it so rapidly). one small stab to that pride of mine. the next info i discover is that the movie is taking place in japan. in JAPANESE. (the actual novel takes place somewhere on the east coast). why you ask? i have no idea. i guess those japanese film companies swooped it up before we could. it most likely will never be released in the U.S. sigh.

that's the last time i'll be duped into reading a book under false pretenses. thanks roomie. cough cough. well if nothing else, at least i can muster up some enthusiasm for the fact that i actually read a new book this summer. even if it doesn't quite compare to my lengthy list well renowned classics. i should know that i'm too lazy to accomplish my overachieving dreams.

breakin all the rules

when i was a freshman in high school the movie "A Walk to Remember" came out. a story detailing an unexpected romance between Mandy Moore and the dreamy Shane West, it pretty much summed up the kind of stuff that i, as a teenage girl, lived for. i can very clearly remember sitting silently in my ceramics class and listening to all the older sixteen and seventeen year old girls talk about going to see it the weekend it came out and i was sooooooo jealous. being only fourteen, i was two years and a drivers license away from having the freedom to see movies whenever i wanted. i'm not sure what the circumstances were, most likely there was another more important comic book movie or something that came out, but my parents made it pretty clear that seeing "A Walk to Remember" opening weekend was not high on their list of priorities. devastated, i settled for what i thought would be the next best thing, buying the book and reading it. one chapter in and i was hooked, undoubtedly five or so hours later, i emerged from my room tearful, and holding the completed book in my hand. "A Walk to Remember" by Nicholas Sparks is a GREAT book, most definitely one of my all time favorites. the downside of finishing the book only made me want to see the movie even more. finally i was able to convince my mom to take my sister and i to see the movie the following weekend, and i absolutely HATED it. they ruined it. they took an amazing book, got rid of everything meaningful, changed characters, and tried to pawn it off under the same name. the next couple of weeks or so i argued with other girls about the quality of the movie, everyone else loved it. reason: they didn't read the book.

being an avid reader, i am completely aware of the saying, "the book is always better than the movie." and i completely agree, in most cases it is. it was at this point in my life that i created the rule that from then on i have very strictly followed:

if it's possible, always see the movie first, THEN read the book. that way you will not only enjoy the movie (having no preconceived expectations) but also love the book when you read it and find out how much more detailed and lovely it is. in my experience this always works. there is no doubt in my mind that if i have already read the book, i am going to hate the movie, and in all the situations where i have seen the movie first, i have loved both. the most recent example would be "Twilight." everyone insisted i read the books, but i waited until after the movie, and therefore i am still a fan of both. the dilemma is now, having read all the books, i probably won't like any of the other installments in the movie series. oh well.

the one possible exception in my past has always been Harry Potter. i started those books way before they were even expected to do a movie, so i couldn't help the order. but in most cases they have done a great job converting the books into the movies. it was probably this precise fact that caused me to go against all that i believe in and break my own rule.

i started rereading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, (mistake number 1) two days before the midnight showing (mistake number 2). WHAT WAS I THINKING? sadly i cannot answer that myself, i have no idea! (i nod my head in shame) the book was just sitting on my shelf, and clearly i have a problem rereading books, i just couldn't help myself. anyway with the book fresh in my mind, i went and saw the midnight showing (mistake number 3). needless to say i was the girl up in the front violently shaking her head, and making ridiculously angry over exaggerated facial expressions and body movements. thank god it was dark and most of the theatre was behind me. in that late hour, i felt like the movie had failed me.

but now i have calmed down, spoken to my sister (my official guide to all things harry potter) and have decided that i need to see the movie again. i have accepted my bad choices and am going to have to live with my mistakes. but i hope that with the book out of mind, and a couple week hiatus, i'll be able to fully enjoy the humor and bad ass scenes that so many other people loved. and if not, then i'll really know i hated it.

moral of the story: always read the book after seeing the movie.

OBSESSED!

Aaarry Pottaaah!

i've been a fan of Mr. Potter for many years now. i have read all the books, and obviously seen all the movies. i am definitely not as obsessed as my sister, but i still consider myself a pretty decent fan. the books came out ten years ago, meaning i pretty much grew up with harry potter, which basically puts me here: twenty two years old, and hardly able to contain my excitement about the release of the sixth movie. i've got my tickets to the midnight showing, my harry potter glasses, and every intention of drawing a lightening bolt on my forehead. sad, but i embrace it.

the sixth book was my favorite, and i think the movie looks really bad ass. i mean harry potter becomes such a BAMF in the last two books, how could you not be a fan? so here is to hoping the movie is truly as awesome as it seems like it's going to be.

2 DAYS!!

can i back that thing up?

i was a girl scout for 13 fabulous years. that's right, if you do the math correctly that is well into and through high school, and i am proud of it! if you weren't a girl scout you probably won't understand, but it's absolutely okay for you to be jealous. in fact that is exactly the emotion you should be feeling. girl scouts was an amazing experience, and i loved every minute of it. i bet you don't know how to chop wood with a hatchet and build a fire with just a pocket knife and mag bar. if you weren't jealous before, i am sure you are now.

anyway i must move on, because the actual topic of this post has nothing to do with girl scouts really. but to dwell on the point just a bit more, one thing you always did in girl scouts was everyone had to back their car in to all the parking spots. it's like the girl scout golden rule. even today i bet i could discover areas where girl scouts are camping, just on that one little fact. it was done for safety issues, i suppose in the case of an emergency evacuation, things would go just a bit more smoothly if we didn't have crazed mothers trying to maneuver their vehicles backwards. luckily i never experienced such an emergency situation, so i have no idea whether the concept is successful or not. but now onto the more important point.

as i was driving around in the parking structure at the movies a couple weeks ago, i noticed A LOT of cars backed into spots. obviously the first thing that sprung to my mind, was "wow, there are a lot of girl scouts here." but then of course my rational thinking kicked in, and i realized that at ten o'clock on a school night, most girl scouts are probably tucked into bed sleeping. then it occured to me, that all of these cars must either belong or have been operated by men. *ding*

Why do guys always feel the necessity to back cars into parking spots?

it's totally a guy thing. never once have i driven around a parking lot and thought "hmmm, let me take all this extra effort to back my car up, so it will be easier getting out later." yeah right, that's way too much thinking ahead for me. and then i remembered that any time i have let a guy drive my car, the same thing happens. they always back the car into the spot! does it save time? has that been proven? because if that's the case maybe i'll consider changing my ways. but still, i don't know if that's enough to push me over to the other side. i just don't get it. maybe it's a macho thing, that makes guys feel more manly. but seriously, go pump some iron or act like you have balls. trust me, using your smooth "one handed backing up into a parking spot" move is not going to convince me of your masculinity. in fact, the only thing i can think of as i watch you "back that thing up" is that you are a giant tool. i honestly cannot come up with any great reason why men feel it's necessary to always back the car in? so i have taken to my blog in hopes of getting an answer to this burning question?

Why?? Why must the car always be backed in? Why not think like a girl, and just pull right into the spot, and say "fuck it, i'll deal with backing out later."

pet PEEVED

i'm angry right now. really angry. the kind of angry where all i want to do is kick and punch and scream. but none of that is going to help. the situation cannot be rectified, and i just have to accept that suprise suprise, i'm not going to get what i want. so i just need to release some of this aggression, and i am going to do it here on my blog. instead of complaining about the situation that cannot be fixed(since that will only make me angrier) i am going to talk about my biggest pet peeve. i am very passionate about this particular peeve, i consider it the most frustrating thing in the world and i feel it is necessary that it be stopped.

i absolutely cannot stand people who walk like they have no where to go.

now last time i checked walking is an acceptable mode of transportation. it's not really time efficient, but it is good for you, and if you have the time to spare, why not take the 30 min commute vs the 5. But people, if you're gonna walk...DO IT RIGHT! anyone who is walking is inevitably heading somewhere, so please just try to get there! don't just saunter up and down at the speed of a snail as if you are dumb and have no idea where you are. because that is exactly what i think about people who walk slow. you're stupid. immediately i understand that you have no idea where you are going and are oblivious to everything around you. if you are walking half a block, ten people should not pass you in that time. that is absurd.

but wait, it gets worse.

when walking slow is combined with other situations, i sometimes feel like ripping my hair out. an example would be crossing the street. why in god's name would you walk like molasses to the other side. HELLO! there are cars waiting, not to mention what if one gets fed up and runs you down, (don't get me wrong, you deserve it) but don't you have some appreciation for your own safety? or when you are shopping at the mall, with three other people, walking in a row, with a stroller, eating fro yo, obviously you are going .00000000008 miles a minute. you should know that you cannot multi task, and therefore you should not be able to step out into the social world. sit down and eat your freaking ice cream! you would still get to your destination (because i know you have one!) at the same speed.

i understand that people get lost, or confused, and therefore that slows their pace down. i am sympathetic to that. but MOVE out of the way. be considerate to the rest of the people in the world who get places in a reasonable amount of time.

i admitt that i am an abnormally fast walker. as you can tell, i lack patience in some areas and therefore i am the girl you see practically running across campus. ( i didn't get my humungo calves from no where). i am not asking everyone to be speedy gonzales like me, but if a baby has just crawled past you, then houston, i think you may have a problem.

Get some dignity people, and pick up the fucking pace.

BITE ME

So my sister and I talked about collectively putting together a book of short stories detailing the funny incidents of our childhood and so on. Undoubtedly most of these incidents would take place at the kitchen table, a result of the Dub family dinner conversation. Growing up with two older brothers really takes the conversation to a whole new level, mostly in inappropriate ways. Here is one of the more notable evenings from my memory:

I’ll say about 7th grade I went through a “bite me” phase. Not like the mike Tyson kind, but the snappy response kind. To this day, I’m not even sure if “bite me” has some other urban dictionary meaning, besides to literally bite someone, but I thought it was the cool thing to do, and so it became my 13 year old self’s signature phrase. I used it A LOT. Again, when you have two older brothers, quick snappy remarks are never ending, especially when they are making fun of you endlessly. Well needless to say, as cool as I thought I was being, all snippety, my mother was not a fan. She would continually glare whenever I said the phrase, and remind me again and again to please not respond with “bite me.” but sounding cool was obviously way more important to me. It was not until this particular evening, that I vowed to never use the phrase again:

It was a typical family dinner, all six of us sitting around the table eating something delicious I’m sure. Let’s pretend it was meatloaf….yummm. Anyway the conversation began innocently enough, but slowly it morphed into the more inappropriate topics we all love. And then of course it turned into, “Let’s make fun of Lauren” night. Well one thing led to another and of course I replied, “BITE ME!” My mom’s reaction was the expected, she gave me her disapproving look, and told me to please not use that phrase. Being thirteen, and knowing EVERYTHING, I felt it was necessary to argue. “What is so wrong with it,” I asked. But before my mom could answer my question my dad jumped in and answered with, “Well how would you feel if I said Blow Me all the time?” At that point I am sure the look on my face was priceless. I imagine my eyes bugged out, and I struggled to keep my milk in my mouth and not to choke. Needless to say, I never used bite me again in the following years, and to this day, it rarely slips out, unless really necessary, the horror of reliving that night is just not worth it.

Maybe my parents should write a how to parenting guide, because clearly the best way to get children to stop saying things you don’t approve of, is to scar them with something equally disturbing coming out of your mouth. Who knew?

is that a zipper i hear?

my friends and i have a lot of theories we have developed about guys (as i am sure many guys have theories about girls) but this one is one of the most serious offenders. personally it is my biggest turn off, and or course it's the one that occurs most in my boy encounters. so for the girls out there, i feel it is my duty to warn you, and for the guys, maybe just maybe you will learn something.

The Unzipping of the Man Suit.

what is this you ask? well now seems like the perfect time to clarify. there is nothing more attractive in the world than meeting a hot guy, who meets your height requirement, seems to have a great personality, and on top of everything else is very athletic and manly. it just sounds too go to be true. well ladies, it is. because there is nothing worse than that same guy, two weeks later, unzipping his mansuit to reveal that he has a giant vagina. not literally, but emotionally. let me tell you guys, two weeks is not nearly enough time for you to feel like it's okay to reveal your 12 year old girl emotions. two years is not even enough. the second that zipper starts sliding down, i am OUT-THE-DOOR.

despite my hatred of this quality, it seems i have a weakness for these types of guys. maybe it's my sarcastic and "manly" personality that attracts these pseudo guys. but seriously, i don't even keep friends around who are crazy emotional wrecks, why in gods name would i want to date one.

what prompted this post is my new attraction (against my minds will) to this guy. it's really more of an infatuation, he just intrigues me. and i am almost absolutely positive that he is parading around in a mansuit. but his height, and messy hair, and most importantly his hands (i love a guy with great hands), have got me overwhelmed. it's obvious that i have a thing for things i cannot have, or more importantly things i don't even want. maybe its my commitment phobia playing tricks on my mind. it tells me to be attracted to people who it knows ill late freak out about.

but for now, i am thoroughly enjoying the excitement of this new challenge, and the beautiful face isn't so bad to look at either. so at least for the sake of having some fun this summer, let's hope he keeps his mansuit zipped tightly. maybe we can reinforce it with safety pins....just to be safe.

things i LOVE

here are just some randoms that make me happy:

cougars (the old woman preying on young men kind)
YouTube
days off
neon nailpolish
crazy shoes
dancing with the stars
peanut butter
rereading a good book
sunny days
sarcasm
bright colors
crushes
adventures

cheers to making it an amazing summer!

take me out to the ball game

baseball has got to be my least favorite sport. i don't play it well, and i don't really enjoy watching it either, so it makes total sense when my brothers invited me to go to the dodger game, i willingly agreed...right? anyway this is how the situation played out:

first i get a phone call:
"yo Lauren, wanna go to the dodger game tomorrow?"
"uh, yeah i guess that sounds cool, i don't have anything else to do."
pause...then me again,
"wait, are we gonna stay the whole game?"
"yeah probably"
"oh okay, well i guess i'll still go."

cut to the next morning:
i'm putting together my purse, including a book and a magazine, i mean what else am i going to do for nine freaking innings. i also pack some almonds, string cheese, and apple and a nectarine (i tend to get hungry, and ten dollar nachos and a eight dollar hot dog just aren't gonna keep me satisfied. i also grab a sweatshirt and a jacket, thinking i would be freezing, since the only baseball games i go to are in sf. my brothers pick me up and we head off....wooo dodgers!

so we get to the stadium, and we have saweet seats, like five rows back from first base, right behind the visitors dugout. i thought hey, maybe i could get into this. and we had three funny old guys sitting behind us, so i was enjoying the entertainment. after one inning i quickly realize, that it's more likely i am going to die of heatstroke than freeze to death, and am immediately regretting my abundance of jackets and lack of sunscreen. three more innings, NOTHING has happened, no one has scored, practically no one has gotten past first base, and i'm feeling a little pink. i trade my boredom for a dodger dog. yummmm, until about five minutes later, when i gladly would have taken my boredom back.

two and a half hours later and the phillies are up by one. it seems no one else is going to be scoring, until magically at the bottom of the ninth inning, the dodgers make a comeback, with an unexpected homerun to tie up the game. (with two outs). the next batter comes up, three strikes, he's out, and before i realize it we're into overtime in a tenth inning. oy. now i'm stuck, feeling the burn, seeing no end in sight and worst of all, i am completely out of snacks. nothing happens in ten, nothing happens in eleven, it seems as if nothing is going to happen in twelve...but thank god for andre ethier. seriously, that man is my hero. by the bottom of the twelfth i am RED RED RED, dehydrated, bored out of my mind, and preparing myself for another few lame innings when he hits a beautiful home run!! i stand up with so much enthusiasm and joy, i shock my own self, and just shout thank god. (i think those old men must have though i was a real big dodgers fan, because they cheerfully agreed with me, thank god they said too...they really were fans, i was just relieved to leave).

the lesson i have learned from this is, always bring sunscreen, and there must be a reason why everyone at baseball games are always drinking tons of beer. i might have to jump on THAT bandwagon to survive next time. at least i had something to write a blog about...

OBSESSED!

i think music taste is based completely on people's personalities. now i am not a huge music buff, and by that what i really mean is that i am not a music elitist. i LOVE music. probably more than the average person, it cheers me up, keeps me company when i am sad, and most of all doesn't complain when i have sweet dance parties in my room, or even belt out the completely tone deaf lyrics. but i'm not musically judgemental. that would most likely be because i don't have a taste in music. someone once told me that when you say you like all kinds of music, you are really saying that you in fact have no taste at all. instead of being offended i agreed, it's true, i'm open to all sorts of genres. for me, it's all about how it sounds. i can tell almost instantly if i like a song or not, and most of the time it has to do with the beat, or the lyrics, or the voice, but i don't limit it to only certain types. which in my mind fits right in sync with my personality. without sounding indifferent i just don't care, i'm down to listen to anything. for those of you musically elite who don't get it, here is a little insight into my no taste in music.

10 songs i am OBSESSED with right now:

10. The Promise- When in Rome (it has just recently come to my attention that i am a huge fan of the napoleon dynamite soundtrack. but figures, i'm usually always behind on the trends, so figures i'd come around to it five years later. nothing like a good nineties jam to bring back the memories.)

9. 1,2,3,4- Plain White T's (this song is so creative. i can't get over it. i mean what a genius, so smart. plus it is obviously adorable and catchy. and makes every girl wish they had such an amazing love)

8. My Life Would Suck Without You- Kelly Clarkson (i can thank sammie for this. but seriously, it's such a good song. girly, yet bad ass as well. makes a sweet dancing song. and of course, what girl doesn't really like ms. clarkson?)

7. Right Round- Flo Rida (can Flo Rida make a bad song? seriously? everything by him is so good! hands down, if i somehow have money when he makes it to the yay area...i am so there)

6. Heartless- Kris Allen ( i didn't watch american idol, but i love this guys voice! and i love the original, so how could i not love the combination. oh right, i DO love it!)

5. The Climb- Miley Cyrus (i can't stand her. but this song is a great "put on repeat" up lifter, i would know from personal experience)

4. Tonight- The Jonas Brothers ( haha, someone has to have a guilty pleasure somewhere. although it seems most of my music is guilty pleasures. i am a sucker for a good looking whiny voice. i can't help it if their jail bait.)

3. Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis ( i'll never be able to get over this song. it is so last summer, but i still love it. it never gets old. it's a weakness i guess i'll never be able to cure)

2. Don't Stop Believing- The Cast of Glee (this show is going to be amazing! i cannot wait. i'm glad i finally get to live out my dreams of being able to sing vicariously through this show choir. one of the many things my god given beautifully wretched voice did not allow me to do)

1. The Best Days of My Life- Kellie Pickler ( i love love love this song. i can't stop listening to it. it's really becoming a problem. the video is even better. you go kellie!)

and there you go. as all those music elitists' cringe, just remember, it's okay to have horrible taste in music! EMBRACE IT!