No Jimmy, THANK YOU!

I haven't really watched much of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, mainly because his interviews always seem to be pretty awkward. Why I don't love that, I am not sure. I am usually quite fond of awkward situations, but I guess when I am not directly involved, they just make me uncomfortable. Anyway, I always catch the random clip here and there, and every time I think, hmmm I should really start watching this show. I think I can manage through awkward interviews to see Justin Timberlake and Mr. Fallon perform A History of Rap. (amaaaazing!)

But what I am obsessed with even more right now is this little gem, I stumbled across. Apparently Jimmy is big on correspondence, only problem is he just never has enough time to do it, EVERY week. So he takes some time on Fridays to write thank you notes on his show. Last night I sat for probably and hour and watched a whole bunch of them in a row. It was a pretty amazing hour that had me in tears. I think you've converted me Jimmy, I'll definitely be tuning in to your show a lot more often....especially on Fridays. (or at least watching it on Hulu the next morning. )

If you haven't ever seen them, here are a few to check out. And even if you have seen them, I  hope they make you laugh again!

(excuse the awkward sizing. i'm sure it doesn't bother year NEARLY as much as it bothers me.)




 

Little Anecdotes

Careful....this could be scary!

Today my Dad and I went to the market to do a quick ingredient round up for dinner. While weaving the aisles, because apparently that's what my Dad considers himself to be: a weaver, we stumbled upon a family argument in the frozen food section. A man and his two sons, probably middle school/ high school age, were firmly discussing which carton of ice cream they should buy. The son apparently contested his fathers idea, and said "Why would you get those two ice creams, they are practically the same flavor?" Of course my first thought was. why wouldn't you get both cartons? Even if they were they same flavor, which they were not, you can never have too much ice cream. This was obviously not their family mentality as they continued to argue, leaving me baffled as we walked by. And like clock work, as we passed the family, my Dad turned to me and said, "Now that's a problem our family would NEVER have. Why not buy five cartons of ice cream."

Welcome to life with the Weldens. Come on over, we'll make you a five flavor ice cream sundae.... with all the fixings.

My parents are very distinguished

November Schmovember

November Night with the Girls

It's November! First of all, where the hell did time go? I literally have finals in a month, and then I will officially be done with my first semester of grad school. Only three to go after that! Guess I better get on that thesis topic. But don't worry, I have some ideas I am pretty excited about, and I will undoubtedly become one of those obnoxious people who can't stop talking about their thesis. So get excited friends. Other than finals prep, November means a lot of things for me:

The beginning of the Holiday season!! Woo hoo. I absolutely love this time of year; pumpkin flavored everything, hot chocolate, ice skating, hats, boots, insane amounts of Welden baking, and just good ole quality time with the family. Not to mention Thanksgiving food! My favorite, and this year I have to eat double time, because last year I was a vegetarian, so I missed out on all the turkey and ham. I assume I'll probably eat myself into a turkey coma, but don't worry I'll make sure I get in my fair share of candied yams before I pass out. Can't wait! Then Hanukkah and Christmas; hello latkes and lots of delicious desserts. I'm really into food, in case you couldn't tell. And then January, which means a New Year, but most
importantly....VEGAS!

Last year's amazing Vegas Adventure

Although I couldn't be more excited for the Holidays, November also means the end of my social life as we know it. I am about to enter into a retail black hole and I won't be resurfacing until January 1st. That is if I don't get rampaged by some crazed, money saving, stroller pushing, raging mother trying to swoop up all the best deals for all her Holiday shopping. When working in such a dangerous industry as retail, this occurrence is a very plausible possibility. But what this means for you guys, my loyal followers, is lots of stories about shopping psychos. This will include, but not be limited to, a crazy shift on Black Friday, starting at 3am, and the glorious 36 hours that my store has decided to stay open for some non stop last minute Christmas shopping. Hilarity and stupidity are sure to ensue.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

In other news, my Halloween was pretty rocking. I once again succeeded in making some pretty sweet costumes, and my friends and I proceeded to relive our college years by picking the fratty-est bar to celebrate in. I guess you can take the girl out of the sorority, but not the sorority out of the girl. It was a top night if you ask me, and we even got to see someone get tazed in the end. The cherry on top of a fantastic evening. I love a night out that concludes in a good moral lesson; don't resist arrest and you'll probably avoid getting tazed. As for actual Halloween I got to work a nine hour shift and then come home and hang out with my family. I think once again this picture will provide you more insight into how I became the lovely person I am today.

Welden Family Halloween 2010

Yep, that's us. In dog masks. Playing poker on the front porch. And handing out candy. A lot of people got a good kick out of it, so I'll admit it was a witty idea of my fathers. Things I learned from that evening: I'm always in when it comes to poker. Especially when I haven't seen the flop yet. And I am always down for a good $600 bet, even when I have absolutely nothing. Despite my arguments, "almost a straight" and "almost a flush" mean nothing when it comes to Poker with the fam. I find this to be ridiculous.

For those of you who enjoy shopping at any Old Navy, Gap or Banana Republic, it's friends and family weekend starting on the 11th. Here's a coupon for 30% off all the stores. Use it and reuse it and enjoy! 5% of all the purchases go to my charity Feed America! Cute clothes and a mitzvah at the same time. Could you ask for more! 

Give and Get is Here!: "Enjoy 30% off from November 11-14 at Gap, Banana Republic and Old Navy plus we'll make a 5% donation to a non-profit."

FREE.99

Everyone loves free samples. Everyone also loves Costco. Now I'll go ahead and apply some of that scientific research skill I am learning in grad school to create the following theory: Everyone loves Costco because they have free samples.

I honestly think that's the stone cold truth. I mean why else do people need to shop there? Who could possibly need at 80 ounce bucket of peanut butter? Or a 150 pack of cup o noodles. Let alone if it's not a perishable item, who even has room to store all of these bulk bargains. I remember when I moved to college I thought Costco and I were going to build a beautiful relationship, but I quickly realized it was going to have to be either my wardrobe or a semester's worth of peanut butter in my closet. Despite San Francisco being "liberal" they still haven't developed a clothing optional policy, so my choice was pretty much made for me.

Now if you're a real stickler for some facts to back up this theory of mine, I think the last trip I took to Costco will  sufficiently suffice. Last Friday around noon my Dad and I ventured to the great bulk food supplier. When we pulled into the parking lot, my first concern was why there were so many freaking people at Costco on a Friday at noon. Don't people work anymore? Well I am sure you are asking, "Hey Lauren, you weren't at work either..." My response to that, "I doubt all of those people at Costco are blessed with a glorious retail job like myself." I know some of them are just sneaking off on their lunch breaks to cash in on free samples, which leads me to my next issue.

The love people have developed for free samples has become unhealthy and possibly damaging to our society. I was actually concerned for my safety while in the store. Now granted, since my new found (well not so new anymore) glutarded-ness, I can rarely eat the free samples, so possibly that has given me a much clearer mind. Everyone else has freaking tunnel vision. They're minds are on one thing and one thing only: free samples! MUST GET FREE SAMPLES! Those people take that mentality and run, literally run. From this trip alone, I realized that these crazed sample get-ers can be categorized into five different categories; each just as problematic and tantalizing as the rest.

1. The Repeat Offender: I saw you try and sneak a second sample! Move over buddy, some of us are still waiting for firsts. I understand that that spinach ravioli was a burst of flavor to the mouth, but maybe you should stop being such a Jew and just invest in a bag (or in Costco's case, eight bags) and enjoy the delicacy at home. Despite what you think, not making direct eye contact with anyone does not make you invisible. I saw that attempt at a second sample and so did the woman running the station. Get some dignity and just walk away.

2. The Immediate Stopper: Yes, I agree, that roasted turkey was good, but was it really that good that you needed to stop in the middle of the aisle, the space that is actually designated for WALKING or passing other stopped people on the sides, abandon your cart, and rush over to the sample station? Have we learned nothing from Dane Cook?  I doubt that the three seconds it would have taken for you to politely push your cart out of the way would have deterred you from receiving that small piece of turkey. A little something for you to think about next time you're willing to risk cart abandonment, just for a fraction of a small snack.

3. The Immediate Stopper and Cart Turner Outer: Just imagine shopper number 2, only this time she turns her cart horizontal in the aisle, so there is no hope of breaking through. I could give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this is some sort of protective tactic to slow other people down and ensure that you receive your free samp, but I won't. Instead I know that you live in a world of oblivion, where other people's lives mean nothing to you. Especially when there is the possibility of  a free sample on the horizon. but please don't worry about me, I'll just stand around behind your blockade staring mindlessly at the 12 packs of cereal. I was hoping for a 15 minute period of rest time anyway.

4. The Patient Waiter: They say that patience is a virtue. In this instance though, I think it's more a pathetic attribute to have. Is it really so necessary that you wait fifteen minutes so you can try a eighth of a ham and cheese hot pocket? I can tell you, having had a hot pocket or two in my day, it's not really worth the wait. So creating crowds around the sample tables not only makes it harder for everyone to maneuver around, but it just makes you look sad and desperate. If you plan to sit and wait fifteen minutes for every sample table, you have just extended your quick trip to Costco into a 2 hour debacle. There is a pretty simple elegance to doing Costco sampling right; you hit up all the ready ones first and then double back cart less (for better agility) for the ones that you missed. Then at least you're much more discreet about your desperate need to have every sample in the store.

5. The Cuts You Off Bee-Liner: This in my opinion is the worst of all the offenders. This person has lost every ounce of their integrity and humanity, and is to the point where they will do ANYTHING to get their free sample. They have sold their soul to the sample Gods and go into a complete frenzy when they see the opportunity of something free close by. They use their cart as a weapon to cut you off, slow you down, or just cause you repeated physical pain until you get of their way. Their only duty is to dispose of anything blocking their path to the hair netted woman holding a cube of cheese on a toothpick. They are relentless, and it's best if you discover one early on, to stay out of their way, because they will have no problem mowing you down if you so much as slow them from getting their sample.

Costco can be a jungle of crazy people. If you're not interested in fighting to the death, it's probably a good idea to either go early on, or later in the evening, when the samples are closed. Then you will find other like minded, fearful, and timid shoppers, jumping at the sound of any shopping cart speeding up behind them. I think it has been one too many times that I have had to deal with the cesspool of idiocricy that has developed in this store, and it has definitely decreased my need to go in. I am happy to say that I finally realized the samples just aren't worth it. Plus my ankles can't deal with anymore cart ramming damage.

A Letter, With Love

Dear Man from the Jersey Shore, shopping at my store this afternoon,

First of all this is California. I don't care how popular MTV has made the Jersey shore, but I'm not having it. You're obnoxious accent and "all about me" attitude was not charming the customer service out of me, and I could care less if all you do is gym, tan and laundry. But that's okay, I could tell you were a d-bag the minute you walked over to the graphic thermals. Really? Nothing quite says douche like "Untouchable" written across your chest in a smocked velvet.

But as if that wasn't enough, because it definitely wasn't, I think it was probably pretty unnecessary to melt into a panic over the lack of sizes we had. The shirts are dirt cheap, and we don't have a thermal tree behind the store, so when people buy them, we tend to run out. It's a tough life out there. What I especially loved was the fact that you asked me eight times if we had any in the back. Each time I politely responded with "No", but I guess you didn't hear. I probably should have gone back and checked though, I forgot about how if a customer asks if you have stock in the back ten times, it magically appears. My bad. Even when I explained that I am actually the visual merchandiser for Men's, and therefore I have a very accurate grasp on how much stuff we don't have in our stock room, you didn't seem to quite understand.

What concerned me most though was your apparent worry for what size you wore and whether or not it was going to shrink. The whole situation really seemed to stress you out. For me, it was less stress and more.....frustration. It was pretty disheartening that I actually got to put my degree to use, explaining that a 40/60 cotton/poly blend really wouldn't shrink, being that polyester is a super fiber and all, and it just went in one ear and right out the other. I assume you had more important things to worry about like gym, tan, and laundry. So for the fifth time, when you said, "Are you sure this won't shrink?" I just answered with, "Yeah, you're right, it probably will." I hope you have a good steroid supplier at home, because you're gonna need something to fill out that lack of shrinkage. Although, I have heard steroids could cause some shrinking of their own......

But the cherry on top of the entire rendezvous was when you asked if you could try the shirt on right there. I auto replied yes, because I assumed, like when I try shirts in IN stores, that you had an under shirt on. What you should have asked was, is it okay if I take my shirt off, and stand topless in the front of your store. Being that this is not Abercrombie and Fitch I would have replied, "No, I think that's a bit inappropriate." Because it was. Not one person who walked into the store during the ten minutes you didn't have a shirt on enjoyed it one bit. Especially not me, who had to sit and advise on which size I felt was better. And I have to comment, it looks like you need a little work on both the gym and the tan.

So please spare me next time. I am pretty sure our entire interaction cost me more brain cells than I would have liked to give up. And a little advice for next time: No shoes, NO SHIRT, no service: it's a rule for a reason.


Love,
Lauren

Things I Learned/Thoughts I Had While in the South

navigation tool collection

You should check your GPS software before you embark upon your adventure. Dealing with a GPS that does not recognize Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Oklahoma as actual places, can be quite difficult to work with, especially when you are traveling to Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Oklahoma, specifically. 

Every street is a “highway.” Every “highway” or “freeway” or “interstate” has at least three names it goes by. Therefore not only is it Highway 66 East, but it is also Highway 142 North and Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. This makes directions increasingly harder to understand.

While automatic toilet seat covers might sound cool, they don’t work. Therefore I would appreciate you providing a second method for “my protection.”

The one issue I now have with California malls, in fact malls across the U.S who haven’t jumped on this bandwagon, is that they do not have frozen daiquiri bars in the middle of them. 

Even though Johnny and June thought Jackson was the place to “get married in a fever,” there is in fact nothing there. Definitely wasn’t worth the combing of my hair. 

The myth of the “Southern Gentlemen” extends to all wait staff in restaurants. Never have I had such polite and convenient service. Why yes, I would love you to split the check, and if you have a chance, could you call California and get them interested in this phenomenon.

Beale St, Memphis

After about seven "Honey” s come out of your mouth, your cute Southern drawl, tends to wear off and just becomes annoying.

There is NOT an abundance of cowboys walking down the streets in hats…and no shirts…much to my disappointment. 

If you try and smother your bed mate (being kimi) with love (or a pillow) she'll make you suffer the next day. (i.e. force you to take all your pictures solo.)

There seems to be a lack of spinach in the spinach capital of the world. Especially a lack of giant spinach cans. But water on the other hand, now they have huge towers of those.

Popeye Park. Alma,AR

Being single is no way to make friends with any of those Southern gals. They are all married, and your obvious singledom is considered a national threat to their own marriage. 

on the road

One way car rentals are ridiculously expensive. Gas on the other hand is cheap. And even if Archie, at the New Orleans Rental place chooses not to let you know, you should always get a gas receipt. That way, when you return the car, you can prove that you didn’t actually siphon water into your gas tank. FYI to the car rental companies: If I just gave you an obscene amount of money to drive a car 800 miles across the South, I’m not going to cheat you out of another 20 dollars worth of gas. Not to mention, if I even had the talent to siphon water into the car's gas tank, you should give me the rental for free... out of principal.

Oklahoma sucks. Your one redeeming quality were the shirts in your airport, “Nothing tips better than a cow.” But it’s not enough to escape from my shit list. 

the blushing bride and reason for this entire trip.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

In like 36 hours I'm getting on a plane and heading South to New Orleans to embark upon Kimi and I's Southern adventure. I am in severe need of a vacation and I am really excited to go exploring. So what's the problem you ask? Just the fact that planning trips are STRESSFUL. And if you know me at all, you know I don't handle stress that well.

Towards the end of high school and my first few years in college I noticed that whenever I got stressed I would get sick. It would build and build and build as I was frantically studying for my statistics final, and then the second I finished the test, it would hit me as if I just ran into a brick wall. And I would be out for a week. Unfortunately for me the only times I would get stressed would be around midterms and finals, all right before we would have breaks from school, so that meant I spent a lot of thanksgiving, winter, and spring breaks laying in bed in my parents house being sick. I guess it was better than having to take those finals while also fighting the illness, but still, coughing your head off in bed while all you're friends are partying and celebrating sucks.

As the school work, and sorority responsibilities, got harder, the way I dealt with stress got worse and worse. Junior year had me throwing my back out every three months to the point where I couldn't move for a week. that was the absolute most frustrating way my body decided to "calm me down." There is nothing more stressful than having to miss work and school, and not being able to move anywhere without having your roommate help you put your pants on. I spent a good part of my spring semester in my fourth year of college on the floor with back issues. And my school work suffered greatly.

Since then I have been extra careful with my back, so of course my body being mine, it had to devise new ways to make me suffer. The most recent occurrence during my last semester was canker sores. Now those sucked! There is nothing like having canker sores (multiple multiple ones) all over you're mouth, hurting and preventing you from eating and talking. Too much information? Hey, they are canker sores, not herpes, and it was stress that caused them, not a lack of personal hygiene or anything.

So just my luck that past few weeks have been stressful to the max. Between work and school and planning this trip, it's no wonder that after working eleven straight days, I completely crashed on my two days off. I have been home sick with a horrible cold the past two days, and I have to get it under control before I sit on a plane for five hours Monday. The pressure of that time constraint isn't helping my calm down though. Not to mention I have been scrambling to get my suitcase packed and all my homework finished, and all the final touches on the trip in order. It has not been fun. I feel like I am no where near completing any of them. And now I seem to be breaking out in some sort of hives. Seriously? What is my problem?! I think I need to become a hippie and care about nothing and just sit around and relax all the time. Would that be a waste of my future master's degree?? If I am happy and stress free than I guess who cares. Now how do I break that new discovery to my parents.....oh, well guess this blog just did it for me. Sorry Mom and Dad, I'm gonna be a hippie, here's to hoping Ally is infinitely more successful.....someone's gotta support us.

Anyway, Bon Voyage! I promise stories and pictures when I return. Kimi and I have a competition going to see who can look like the biggest douche bag the entire trip. I might have a couple popped collars hiding in my suitcase. Hilarity and pictures to ensue. Until then.....Au Revoir!

Do you Want to Know a Secret? (ooooo waaa oooo)

I love Post Secrets. Every Sunday morning, the first thing I do when I wake up is go to the site and read all the new secrets for the week. Sometimes I get so excited that I check Saturday night, and if you're lucky, they are sometimes already up. Which really just leaves me with nothing to do Sunday morning, just checking my email, which is never nearly as interesting. I just love the entire concept and story behind Post Secret. It's just really cool to read other people's secrets and realize maybe you're not the only crazy person out there. Whenever I find one that makes me laugh, or one that I agree with, or one that makes me go "awwwwwww," or something that reminds me of a friend or a situation from the past, I always save in a Post Secret file on my computer. I think I probably have two years worth of secrets on my external, and every once in a while it's always fun to go through and read them again. It always makes me smile, so here are some that I have saved over the years, hopefully they make you smile too.

All of these pictures were obtained from the Post Secret Site. If you haven't checked it out before, do it!

Work Work Work and No Play

Oh the woes of retail!! It has been a while since I've shared something about the activity that seems to consume most of my life: Work. In fact it's been a while since I have shared anything about my life, there just never seems to be enough time. When I'm not working I'm having enough trouble squeezing in the important things; like school and my two new obsessions: re-watching the entire series of Veronica Mars and playing Words With Friends on "my" iPad. Persnickety crime fighting and scrabble with strangers and friends, all while lying in bed. Life's rough. I know.

But back to my main priority. Work. Work, and more Work. I have become a slave to my job recently because I actually just got a promotion. (insert woo hooo here). I'm moving on up and there is no stopping me now, I'm not going to spend hours listening to customers "return stories" and not make it worth anything. My new position has me working a lot more with the kids and babies departments. So often times, if you're looking for me, that's usually where I am, or somewhere sprinting in between. Since I am always there, people see me and get the impression that I am some sort of childrens clothing connoisseur. The truth of the situation is, I do know a lot about my stores childrens clothing; need to know if we have a certain style? or color? or size? I'm your girl! But if you want to know how the clothes fit, or what size your kid (who is not present I might add) wears, I have no idea, and it's a pretty simple breakdown as to why that is:

I unfortunately haven't been able to wear child sized clothing since I was probably ten, and I neither have a child (thank god) or any children friends to try the clothes on for me, and then provide me with detailed descriptions on how each article of clothing made them feel. I was under the impression those sorts of friendships were frowned upon.

Therefore when you ask me, how do those pair of pants fit, I am baffled as to what you are expecting me to spit out in response. "Well they're a little snug in the waist and loser around the hips and leg area, then they taper in at the ankles so she can accessorize them with little booties. But as a side note, they do make the butt look a little big." Your daughter is six! How does it fit? If it buttons it fits. If she can squeeze that skinny jean over her soccer calves, then they fit. But even better, if you take her to the fitting room, and she puts them on, you'll have your very own personal description of how they fit....to your daughter.

One major thing I have noticed, is that a lot of parents don't know what size their child wears. Now I understand that kids grow, so the sizes can change very rapidly, but there is a quick solution to this, have your child go try on a few options and then go with the one they can securely fasten over themselves. Parents are constantly showing up, sans child, asking me what size their kid wears. "My son's eight, what size should I be looking for?" My silent mind rebuttal: "My father is 55, what size do you think he would wear?" Age does not denote a universal size. For all I know your eight year old could be 150 pounds, or takes after your giant husband and is 5 feet tall. I'm no psychic, so unfortunately I can't help there. Wanna know if we have those bootcut jeans in a 14...we don't. So rather than stressing out the sales associate and yourself for that matter, if you are clueless to what size your kid wears, bring them with you. I can tell you that will be 100 percent more accurate than anything I could offer you.


I hope this has been advice to you all, since I know my main blog reading demographic parents with young children. If I am severely wrong about that, at least it amused you for the five minutes it took you to read. And just remember, the same goes for adults too, believe it or not just because I am 23 does not mean that's the size I wear in clothing. A fun fact for you all to absorb: they stop sizing clothes by age in the toddler sizes. So now you won't look like an idiot asking in the future.

In other, completely off topic news, I am completely putting my entire life on hold in a week and a half to go on a "vacation." I am pretty sure the timing is quite crappy with school and my job etc, but somehow I am making it work. I'll keep you posted on the aftermath of that decision, I'm sure it will be amusing in some sorts. But until then, watch out New Orleans, Jackson, Memphis, Little Rock and Fort Smith...you're in for a ridiculous treat!!

Also, as a P.S vote for my friend Kimi's graphic design for the H&M window display. It's amazing! As is she, and it's really easy to vote!! go here: http://www.yourarthere.com/entry/i-heart-ny/

I'll love you forever if you do it! Well scratch that, I already love you because you read my blog. Well vote, and then let me know....maybe we can work something out. ; )

TMI

You may or may not be familiar with a little social networking site called Facebook. Like most of the 20 something crowd I too consider myself to be a part of this phenomenon. I've been a member since before I moved to college, which was back in the dark ages of Myspace, when Facebook was only for those elite people who had college email addresses. Ah the good times. In fact, if you read this blog we are probably Facebook friends, because you most likely wouldn't know about it otherwise, unless of course you're a new reader who frequents the Serramonte Denny's. (Holler Chelsea!).

It has been an interesting few years watching Facebook slowly morph from a way to make new college friends, to a way to make new all aged friends,  to a creep-tastical stalking platform. I mean seriously, it's kind of ridiculous. Funny thing is, my thirteen year old self would have died with excitement over this kind of invention. And every once in a while she creeps back into my life and I find myself laying in bed with my laptop, eyes bugged out and burning, and somehow three hours have disappeared and I suddenly have a vague understanding of the current lives of people I never talked to in highschool. As more and more changes were made to Facebook, I slowly became less and less interested in the site. Don't get me wrong, I still check it every day, probably multiple times a day, and I use it more or less, but I don't find myself spending hours upon hours on it, and here is why:

I think we very easily forget just how many people we are Facebook friends with. Your collection of friends vary anywhere from your best friend in elementary school to that guy in your freshmen year college statistics class. People who you probably don't talk to at all anymore, yet they still have access to all your updates, and boy do you have access to theirs. Which brings me to my main Facebook concern:  Over-sharers.

Did I miss the memo where Facebook is no longer a public site? I understand there are privacy blockers etc, but not from the people you are friends with. So what do you want me to do with your status update detailing your "douchebag boyfriend" and how he "broke your heart, and you have been uncontrollably crying for weeks." Ummmm.....great weather we've been having? Why would that be necessary to post in public domain, is this now an occasion where I need to send a virtual card? Not to mention to continuing status updates every hour with things like "I thought we were meant to be," "You were the love of my life," "Please call me and we can work it out." Now you're just giving girls everywhere a bad reputation. Keep your crazy desperation to yourself, like the rest of us. I definitely think that writing out your feelings about a situation can help the venting process and clear your mind, but get a diary, make those pages suffer, because quite frankly I'm sick of logging on and being bombarded to by your pleads to get him to call you. It's possible I just don't have any compassion, but if he isn't returning your calls, I don't think the "power" of Facebook is going to change the situation.

Also included in the over sharing category: bowel movements or lack thereof, STD's, pictures of your pregnancy tests (you may be thrilled, but all I can think about when seeing that picture is how you peed on that stick, and then left it out long enough so you could grab a snap shot!) Deaths, this could be me being incompassionate again....buuuut it seems inappropriate to me to make updating your Facebook status one of the stages of grieving.

I also very much dislike those of you who feel it is necessary to update your status with a five paragraph essay. You understand the basic concept of sentence structure! That's great! Get a blog and prove it to the world like the rest of us. And please, if you are going to insist on using song lyrics, make sure they are correct! It's just sad if I, the most incompetent lyric person in the world, recognizes that those are the wrong words. It only means one of two things, the song you used is either a Country song, or not a good one. It only takes 2.5 seconds to hit up AZ Lyrics or something, and trust me, it's worth the time.

I guess we can basically conclude that I just think personal things should be kept personal, and not written all over Facebook. Could be hypocritical considering I sit here and write a blog about my life. But I would like to think for the most part I have abstained from any extreme over-sharing. And my defense is this: people can make the informed choice to read this blog or not, unlike my newsfeed which seems to have a mind of own. Right....? Right!

oooohhh South Park. Nails it every time.